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jackoff all trades

An individual claiming proficiency for every task presenting itself, anywhere. He is neither schooled nor proficient beyond the ability to claim such.

An individual whose continued claims at ability are immediately discounted upon attempt.
"Dave says he'll fix my brakes, file my taxes, upgrade my computer, and save me a bundle! And he's gonna read my fortune, win Lisa back, and get me promoted!"

"Dude, Dave's an divorced, unemployed dog groomer. Don't let him touch your shit... Guy's a jackoff all trades."
by 3sqzper January 5, 2009
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Jackoff all trades

An individual claiming proficiency for every task presenting itself, anywhere. He is neither schooled nor proficient beyond the ability to claim such.

An individual whose continued claims at ability are immediately discounted upon attempt.

A play on "Jack of all trades, master of none."
"Dave says he'll fix my brakes, file my taxes, upgrade my computer, and save me a bundle! And he's gonna read my fortune, win Lisa back, and get me promoted!"

"Dude, Dave's a divorced, unemployed dog groomer. Don't let him touch your shit... Guy's a jackoff all trades."
by 3sqzper July 21, 2008
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Jackoff of all trades

Somebody who believes that they can multitask, but in attempting many different endeavors, fails at all or most of them. A failed polymath. An incompetent, wannabe rennaissance man.
"Dude thinks he's the jack of all trades. He screwed up the math on the cash register, he can't speak spanish for shit, and after he tried to tune up my car, I had to take it in and spend $200 bucks before it would start again. He's the jackoff of all trades."
by Hank the Monster October 18, 2009
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Jack off all trades

A dilettante with tools; someone who thinks they can fix lots of things, but actually hacks the job. A homeowner who tries to handle all aspects of home repair, but has no skills.

Also used as a verb.
Noun: Bob really spends a lot of time on projects, but nothing works. He's a Jack off all trades.

Verb: I just like buy all the best tools, but really I just jack off all trades.
by clayshingle February 13, 2010
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Jack off all Trades

Someone who's so easy to get in bed with, they'll jack you off for basically anything.
"Jared's a total Jack off all Trades, I said I'd get him McDonalds if he blew me, and man did he enjoy those McNuggets."
by ToastonBeans April 12, 2023
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Jack off all trades

A person who does not use profession as criteria for choosing sexual partners
- How'd you swing that? I thought Jane only fucked above a certain income bracket.

Naa man, she's a jack off all trades
by michaelstripe December 12, 2007
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