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Any car that meets the following: a) driver must enter car through passenger side b) three different brand and size tires - 3 of them missing hubcap c) exhaust is held up by half a clothes hanger - other half replaces the antenna d) backfires every three blocks - loudest backfire being when car is turned off e) must open door at drive-threws as windows don't roll down f) you only get one AM station and the tape deck eats all tapes inserted g) can't open the glove box as the whole thing will fall out h) if you let go of steering wheel while driving you'll make a u-turn i) must manually move blinker lever up and down as it no longer blinks on it's own j) must keep one foot on brake and one on accelerator when at a complete stop k) has had the same temporary registration sticker in the window for the last 18 months l) has all the above issues but still has a $200 professional tint job
"Hey gotta have the phattest hooptie in town!"
by D. Ferrel September 24, 2003
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Hooptie finds it's origins dating back to the mid 1950's. The original, corrupted phrase is 'Coupe D', referring to a Cadillac Coupe deVille. Over time, Coupe D was rolled together into hooptie. Used to describe everything from "any old car" (thank Shaq for that) or more specifically a large domestic sedan. Popularized by Sir Mix-a-lot, the word moved from a mere description to a slur. Oddly enough, the word can have a variety of meanings, depending on the context, ranging from pride of ownership to an outright insult.
"Man, check out this new hooptie I picked up. $500 and the dash is still perfect!"

"Dammit! my (insert cool car here) is in the shop. Guess I'll mob the hooptie to work."

"Well, it might be a hooptie, but hey, it's got it's own class of demolition derby."

by J.P.S. June 09, 2006
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Any car that I can afford since my second divorce.
My hooptie sure smells like burning today.
by po po September 10, 2003
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Any car, typically an older or particularly cheap model, which has had more than its value's worth invested in aftermarket (and typically cheap-looking) modifications.

The archetypetal hooptie is a beaten 70's-model American car with dark tinting and flashy (if not actually expensive) rims, but may include anything from an iced out Geo to a dilapidated van or Honda.

Compare with beater; contrast with whip.
Instead of investing money in a newer or more reliable car, Tito continued to drop more cash into laying the bling on his hooptie.
by Lesaint July 13, 2006
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A junky, wothless car that the owner had put money into that only makes it look worse. Or even comical. Examples would be spinning plastic hubcaps, a fin, offroad tires, and a cheap stereo from Value City that will be stolen soon because the window will not roll up.
What do you mean that's your G Ride? That's just a hooptie.
by Tom G'Munny May 16, 2006
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1. An old piece of crap car.

Features include: a plume of blue oil-soaked smoke coming from the exhaust - general odor of beer vomit and french fries - a Kraco stereo with a 10 year old Nirvana cassette stuck in the player - flat white, flat blue and Bondo red in color.

2. Any Saturn automobile ever sold.
Man, that hooptie should be up on blocks at the trailer park by now!
by BFish December 11, 2002
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Any car that has been pimped out at the Wal*Mart high school car section. Such enhancements might include but are not limited to the following: a peeling do-it-yourself tint job, chain links around the license plate, plastic hubcaps (4.99 when they've been rolled back), racing pads covering the seatbelts, excessive use of window decals, a sound system right out of the Wal*Mart electronics section, an overly aggressive after market spoiler.
Look at Freshman Dave rollin' in his hooptie to the pep rally.
by Neil August 07, 2003
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