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Holiday Fling

Being in a relationship (Really, it's just a label - it's actually the things that you two do together that count, i.e. kissing, hugging etc. etc.), and going off on a holiday (say, back home) of a certain predetermined short amount of time, oh say, 4 weeks. Then gradually losing feelings for your partner, and start seeing some another person. On HOLIDAY. And actually getting into a relationship with him/her during the last week of your holiday and actually start dragging it into a long distance relationship, while your partner still loves you like nothing he/she's ever loved before. When confronted, you say things like 'Oh I've given up so much thought about it' and 'I think this will work' and 'But at least I told you the truth throughout the whole time' and 'But I've fallen for him everytime I've gone back'
Nicole - "Yeah. I'm on a holiday fling with someone back home who I've fallen for everytime I've gone back and I decided to break off whatever that we've had and get into a long distance relationship with him on the last week of my holiday because I think this is going to work, and I've given it heaps of thought and I'm doing things that make me happy, like you told me to. Besides, I think we moved too fast. I know it's my fault and I wish I was never part of your life. I'm sorry."

Me - "WTF COULDN'T YOU HAVE WAITED ONE MORE FRICKING WEEK BEFORE YOU COME BACK THEN AT LEAST WE CAN FRICKING REBUILD OUR FEELINGS, RATHER THAN FUCKING AROUND WITH SOME GUY ON A HOLIDAY BACK HOME WHO'S A DOUCHEBAG WHO'S SOOOOOOOOOO ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT FUCKING AROUND WITH YOU EVERYTIME YOU GO BACK?"

Nicole - "Oh but he's such a nice guy and he brings me places and takes me home and stuff and I love hanging out and drinking and having sleepovers with all guys when I go back home"

Me - "Errr WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF"

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS CRAZY FUCKING SHIT TO ME NICOLE? THIS IS NOT THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF. THIS IS NOT 'DOING THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY' - THIS. IS. CALLED. FUCKING. AROUND. It's only with extremely powerful and reluctant self-control that I don't call you a dirty and cheap 2-bit WHORE. Because that's what people who know the story think you are. And if you REALLY weren't 'over your ex' and 'still fcked in the head' then you would've distanced yourself from relationships. NOT GET INTO ONE ON FUCKING HOLIDAYS WHILE YOU WERE IN ONE WITH ME(We didn't label it but we did everything a couple would do). THANKS FOR FUCKING AROUND ON A 4 WEEK HOLIDAY AND NOT EVEN BEING ABLE TO HOLD ON TO YOUR FEELINGS FOR FOUR. FRICKING. WEEKS. ENJOY FUCKING HIM EVERYTIME YOU GO BACK HOME FOR A HOLIDAY.
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sans sheriff 

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Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.
I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
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eye bleach 

Looking or experiencing something nice after witnessing something horrid like a disgusting gif or a disturbing video. Typically used as eye bleach are nice images of whatever makes the disturbed person happy.
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Did you see what the traffic engineers want to do to our street? They're going to turn it into a total stroad!
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