gristmas
An very creepy holiday. Often occurring, but not limited to, around Christmas.
If you're having a good Christmas, but then a creeper comes/cums on to you, then your Christmas becomes a Gristmas.
A true Christmas nightmare. Like "The Nightmare before Christmas," except wayyy scarier and without the cool soundtrack. (The only noise you will hear is the sound a gristy guy makes jerking off in a public restroom).
If someone starts Gristing (creeper texting) you on Christmas
If you're having a good Christmas, but then a creeper comes/cums on to you, then your Christmas becomes a Gristmas.
A true Christmas nightmare. Like "The Nightmare before Christmas," except wayyy scarier and without the cool soundtrack. (The only noise you will hear is the sound a gristy guy makes jerking off in a public restroom).
If someone starts Gristing (creeper texting) you on Christmas
Newly-wed woman: I was having the best Christmas ever with those new handcuffs my husband got me!! .... but then this fucking Gristy douche randomly showed up and fucked my Husband. Fucking worst Gristmas ever!!!
Sexually harassed man: Dude, that guy keeps offering to send me gift cards for christmas. I think he just wants to get in my pants.
Friend: dude, just take one in the ass for the 30$ gift card. Especially if it's the candy cane edition. Have a merry Gristmas bro.
Sexually harassed man: Ha ha, funny, go jerk off in public you Grist monger
Gristy dude (to another guy): Hey, can I give you a few gift cards? I really want you to have a special Christmas.
Guy: OMG NO! Cuz then it wouldn't be Christmas anymore--It would be GRISTmas!!
Gristy dude: oh sorry. Hey do you want the gift card with the gingerbread man, the candy cane, or the snowman? Also, I need you to come visit me on vacation in Hawaii. I've got a candy cane to put in your small, brown stocking ;)
Guy: ....... *jaw drops to floor*.......
X rated section of story: Gristy dude shoves penis in guy's mouth while guy's jaw dropped to the floor in disbelief. Gristy dude finishes, and wishes him a merry Gristmas.
Sexually harassed man: Dude, that guy keeps offering to send me gift cards for christmas. I think he just wants to get in my pants.
Friend: dude, just take one in the ass for the 30$ gift card. Especially if it's the candy cane edition. Have a merry Gristmas bro.
Sexually harassed man: Ha ha, funny, go jerk off in public you Grist monger
Gristy dude (to another guy): Hey, can I give you a few gift cards? I really want you to have a special Christmas.
Guy: OMG NO! Cuz then it wouldn't be Christmas anymore--It would be GRISTmas!!
Gristy dude: oh sorry. Hey do you want the gift card with the gingerbread man, the candy cane, or the snowman? Also, I need you to come visit me on vacation in Hawaii. I've got a candy cane to put in your small, brown stocking ;)
Guy: ....... *jaw drops to floor*.......
X rated section of story: Gristy dude shoves penis in guy's mouth while guy's jaw dropped to the floor in disbelief. Gristy dude finishes, and wishes him a merry Gristmas.
gristmas by I like to play soggy waffle December 29, 2010
