Harry: Good day Elizabeth might I intrest you in a fizzy drink such as Tango?
Elizabeth: Oh no, I've been feeling a bit gassy this evening. A cuppa tea would be nice though, Earl Grey if you have it.
Harry: Splendid. Then perhaps we can have sexual intercouse.
Elizabeth: I dear say that sounds like a fine idea!
TWO HOURS LATER
Harry: Almost. Almost. Almost.
Elizabeth: Harry, did you realize your member is an unusual colour. I hope you don't have a sexually transmitted illness.
when you're holding up your phone and making faces at it, as though you are taking a selfie, but you're really taking a picture of the person across from you or the wall or anything else that seems interesting but you don't want to be caught dead taking a picture of.
This action is often made more convincing by wiggling the eyebrows or opening the mouth, to pretend you're trying to get a Snapchat filter to work.