Skip to main content

ft.myers beach

The BEST place to live ever! period... end of story. We throw the best parties, have the hottest people and smoke the best ganja.

When someone says we’re going to “the beach” this weekend, they’re referring to Ft. Myers Beach. It doesn’t matter if u go to Verot, Estero, Cypress, Ft.myers or South, we’ll all end up parting together here anyways. Times square and the pier is where its at! You can jump off the pier and get chased by cops, get free skimbording lessons from hot guys, toke it up on the beach and not even worry about getting caught….cause everyone’s a beach bum here and we’re all gettin stoned.

FMB is happnin during spring break. Traffic is hell and tourists can go to hell, but the hot guys that come for the months of March and April are heaven.

We throw the best parties around. Everyone knows if u want pot u go back behind the hooters and the lani kai doesn’t check ids. We party on the beach and under bridges all night long.

I know henna tattoos isn’t all you can get from Ossi. I know that when u go to the beach, McDonalds is where lunch is bought, cause we’re all broke as hell. I know that if I go to Publix I’ll most likely see about 10 people I know. This is the smallest town EVER! Everyone knows everyone and all of their business(no secrets here…whatsoever).

Karaoke is sung at Junkanoos every night. Everyone knows the matchbox doesn’t sell matches and the beached whale isn’t a helpless animal, the surf club isn’t an organized group of surfers nor do they offer lessons, unless you’d like to perfect your drinking habits, yet most beach kids have that art mastered by age 12. Going on a run, involves a trip inland, a fake id from Naples and a 30 pack...not running shoes. As you should know Pirate Pete’s has nothing to do with a pirate. The shrimp festival is pretty much the highlight of our year here. Don’t buy ice cream from the palm-tree bicycle carts on the beach, everyone knows that guy’s a (former?) crack dealer. (I’ll stick with Ben & Jerry thanks) FMB is amazzzing. Even though I still don’t know what a Wahoo Willie is, I’m so proud to be able to call Ft. Myers Beach home!
Welcome to Ft.Myers Beach, we'll show u paradise bitches!!
ft.myers beach by hipppiee April 12, 2008
ft.myers beach mug front
Get the ft.myers beach mug.
See more merch
An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)
"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."
Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility
I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.
sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".
A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.
Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.
"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."
Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.
I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.
schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008

eye bleach 

Looking or experiencing something nice after witnessing something horrid like a disgusting gif or a disturbing video. Typically used as eye bleach are nice images of whatever makes the disturbed person happy.
"Bleach my eyes! Why is that woman's face ripped off!?"
*Looks up images of puppies and kittens.*
"That's good eye bleach."
eye bleach by Rini2012 November 29, 2016