erect as a 5 a.m. penis

adj. Describing something that is very straight or stiff, or someone standing that way.

Tennis instructor: "Evan, you have to bend your knees on that shot!"
Evan: "What, I'm not getting down low enough?"
Tennis instructor: "Low enough? You're as erect as a 5 a.m. penis."

by stockman09 November 19, 2010