Eating the red berries is showing somebody that it's safe to do something.
This phrase derived from how a monkey won't eat the red berries unless they see another monkey eat them.
When somebody is being forced to do something and don't want to do it, eating the red berries would be doing the thing for them then telling them it's safe to do.
Child: No! I don't want to eat asparagus!
Mother: You have to eat them! They are healthy!
Child: They look gross!
Mother: Father, help me out here!
Father: Fine, I guess I'll be eating the red berries.
(Father eats some asparagus)
Father: See? It's healthy. Not the tastiest thing on the planet, but it's tasty enough to eat.
(Child eats some asparagus)
Child: Oh hey, it's not that bad!
church hurt is where you experience a degree of distance, pain, or judgement from your church community. Essentially, you are just unable to “find your place”. This is prevalent in the Christian community, but can be extended to other religions.
Now that I am an adult I am beginning to heal from the church hurt that was inflicted on me as a child.