Decorative Towel

Towels that the woman (or feminine man) of the house hangs up for decorative purposes (normally seasonal). You can not dry dishes with them, dry your hands with them, use them after a shower, or look at them too hard unless of course you want to get bitched at.

Woman: Honey where did my decorative towel with the cute snowman go?
Man: I used it to dry off the dog
Woman: WTF!?! THOSE TOWELS ARE TOO NICE FOR YOU TO BE USEING THEM FOR ANYTHING USEFUL!!!
Man: BITCH DON'T MAKE ME GIVE YOU A THIRD BLACK EYE YOU ALREADY HAVE TWO!!!

by Fugus June 13, 2012

Decorative Log

Intentionally leaving a shit in the toilet for others to view and be amazed by.

Lucy left Duncan a decorative log

'Wow!' said Duncan 'What's gone into that?!'

by Barneyfowell June 14, 2016

decorative gourd

THE most useless thing known to man. have you even heard of a decorative gourd? bet you haven't. bet you have seen one. but why do they exist.

person 1: *shows friend picture of a decorative gourd* decorative gourd.
person 2: thats what those are? ive seen those before. what are they used fo-... oh... bruh.

by Xbox name is LarryTheM0bster September 23, 2020

Decorative towels

1. Sams stupid fucking towels no one is allowed to use

2. Cum rags that Sam and Dale's ex use to rub their face with.

To check for freshness, she smelled the decorative towels

by Aries7777 January 11, 2017

Decorative Edison

A sexual maneuver whereby a lightbulb is screwed into the anus as if it were an electrical socket.

Last night Joe came by and gave me a Decorative Edison. The metal was cold and abrasive, but at least he didnt give me a Wizard of Menlow Park.

by Johnny Ashcan February 6, 2009

Decorative Log

Intentionally leaving a turd in the toilet, for others to view and be amazed by

Lucy left Duncan a decorative log.

'Wow!' Duncan said 'what's gone into that?!'

by Barneyfowell June 22, 2016

Decorative Muscle

Decorative muscle is when a person (almost always a male) looks large and very strong physically, but in actuality is far weaker than they appear. This usually stems from one of the following ordeals:

1.) Using repetition in weight lifting which causes one's muscle mass to increase, while only gaining minimal boosts in strength.

2.) Skin complexion (muscle highlights much better on people with darker skin tones).

3.) A higher amount of fast-twitch muscle fibers which are great for short, explosive bursts of power rather than endurance and longevity.

4.) Focusing more on gaining mass rather than actually becoming stronger.

John was huge and very imposing at 6'2" and 225 lbs, but you should have seen the shock on his face when 5'9", 170 lb Daniel not only beat him at arm wrestling, but benched and squatted more than him aswell. It turns out than John had a bad case of decorative muscle.

by Robjef622 May 6, 2017