If you
work at a nursing
home because you enjoy wiping other people's butts, you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever pooped your pants laughing at a poop joke, you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever dried a turd in a
food dehydrator, then coated it with laquer, put a fish hook in it, then mounted it on a plaque that said "Brown Trout", you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever eaten your pants because you wanted to shit your pants, you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever taken a shit that wasn't yours, you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever
butt-chugged a half-price margarita in the bathroom of a restaurant, you might be a clamneck.
You are a clamneck if you
name all of your turds.
If you have a bumper sticker that says "I'd rather be
E. coli", you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever tipped over a Johnny On The Spot while you were on the INSIDE, you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever tried to store a
fart in a jar, you might be a clamneck.
If you have a brown
cell phone case for the purpose of camouflaging poop stains, you might be a clamneck.
