Calibrations

Either an activity that must be done constantly, or something you bring up when you want to subtly tell someone to go fuck themselves.

Shepard: "Hey Garrus, got a minute?"
Garrus: "Can it wait for a bit? I'm in the middle of some calibrations."

by the goat daemon July 10, 2010

calibration

1. The proccess of data acquisition (obtained by comparison against standards) able to anticipate the behavior of someting.
2. The data so obtained.
3. The final report or documentation showing such data.
4. The stage in which someting is regarding the level of its calibration knoledge.

Adjustment is not calibration. When we adjust something we change its behavior (usually to move it closer to standards aiming a better performance); when we calibrate we just understand its behavior so that we can compensate or even adjust it.

by Arturo Cortijo March 11, 2008

impact calibration

The technical terminology for hitting any sort of electronic device to get it to work properly; a solid and punctuated smack or slap.

"Theo noticed the screen on his iPad was slightly scrambled so he quickly implemented the impact calibration principle to the edge of the device. One good smack and the screen was clear as the blue sky on a summer's day.

by MCBassGuitar May 18, 2016

percussion calibration

The process of beating the snot out of a piece of equipment to get it to work properly

I had to perform a minor percussion calibration on that IBM workstation until it cooperated.

by D. Williams September 2, 2005

calibratio

The act of spending an excessive amount of time calibrating a piece of home electronics, e.g. a home theater or stereo system.

My buddy said he would buy me a six-pack if I came over and performed calibratio on his new HDTV.

by swoodie February 24, 2009

calibrating cabbages

When you get asked what you have been up to and have nothing interesting to say

Person 1: So what have you been up to lately?

Person 2: Not much just calibrating cabbages

by Dr Cabbage September 9, 2010

calibration

1) The process of comparing an instrument's output signal with reality. Instruments that measure solar energy tend to "drift", that is, their output signals do not mean the same thing from one time period to another. Because of this, they are periodically (annually or semi-annually) re-calibrated against more reliable instruments.

2) Adjusting a measuring instrument to make it accurate. The set of operations which establish, under specified conditions, the relationship between values indicated by a measuring instrument or measuring system and the corresponding values of a quantity realized by a reference standard.

3) The act of adjusting the color of one device relative to another, such as a monitor to a printer, or a scanner to a film recorder. Or, it may be the process of adjusting the color of one device to some established standard.

This radio needs some calibration.

by IrishRepublicanArmy December 26, 2003