A woman who is pure, pristine, nigh untouchable, until she takes a hit off a water bong. Then she becomes a vagina with legs.
"Dude, get in here and get a piece of Emily!"
"I thought she was one of those Catholic types, you know, no sex until marriage."
"Yeah, but she's a total bongslut, too!"
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.