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Awkward Blastoise
When an awkward turtle is insufficient for the awkwardity of the situation, one must "evolve" their awkward turtle into the Awkward Blastoise. This hand configuration uses the pointer and pinky finger of the top hand as Hydro Pumps to douse the situation.
While visiting his girlfriend's parents, Rob farted at the dinner table very loudly. The mom implemented the awkward turtle, but was immediately over-ruled by the dad's more appropriate use of the Awkward Blastoise in order to sufficiently encompass the awkwardity of the situation.
Awkward Blastoise by Cypress A 106 April 24, 2009
Blastoise
"yo what you want to do tonight?"
"I kinda want to do a BLASTOISE"
"Oh so you wanna get that slippery, say no more"
"I kinda want to do a BLASTOISE"
"Oh so you wanna get that slippery, say no more"
Blastoise by Stanky the Herbivore YT September 5, 2016
blastoised
to consume alcohol to the point where all motor functions have atrophied, to the point where you're completely blacked out, to the point where you're shooting hydro pump... out of your mouth.
man, did you see that kid frat hopping last night? he must have been absolutely blastoised by the time he hit his 8th frat house.
blastoised by jamesthebig wang October 17, 2006
Beastwipe
When you take a massive shit and go to wipe, but you don't realize your Hulk-like strength and destroy the toilet paper in your hand. Then you continue to wipe your ass with your bare hand.
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