Apple iPad 

The crappiest product that Apple has shitted out to date.

It's like a giant iPhone except it doesn't have a phone or 3G.

It's supposed to be the "Netbook killer" but it doesn't even MULTITASK! But it sure as hell costs DOUBLE.

It doesn't even have a freaking webcam!

And how much does this piece of shit cost? $499 FOR 16GB!

SIXTEEN FUCKING GIGABYTES!

ARE YOU SHITTING ME?

Oh, but you can expect stupid Apple fanboys to rush to their nearest Apple Store to purchase this useless device because after all, IT'S FROM APPLE! IT'S GONNA MAKE THEM LOOK COOL AND HIP!

Tell me Apple fanboys, how does Steve Job's cock taste like?

Fuck, you gotta be a complete moron to actually be thinking about buying this pile of garbage.

And don't even get me started on the goddamn name.

"iPad". For fuck's sake. It sounds like a brand of tampons.

The Apple iPad won't be worth buying until it can store at least a terabyte of menstrual blood.

Apple iPad by Hurp Derp January 27, 2010

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".

A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.

Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.

"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."

Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.

I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.

schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008

eye bleach 

Looking or experiencing something nice after witnessing something horrid like a disgusting gif or a disturbing video. Typically used as eye bleach are nice images of whatever makes the disturbed person happy.

"Bleach my eyes! Why is that woman's face ripped off!?"
*Looks up images of puppies and kittens.*
"That's good eye bleach."

eye bleach by Rini2012 November 29, 2016

Stroad

Noun. Portmanteau of "street" and "road": it describes a street, er, road, built for high speed, but with multiple access points. Excessive width is a common feature. A common feature in suburbia, especially along commercial strips. Unsafe at any speed, their extreme width and straightness paradoxically induces speeding. Somewhat more neutral than synonymous traffic sewer.

Did you see what the traffic engineers want to do to our street? They're going to turn it into a total stroad!

Stroad by hammersklavier February 21, 2012