The often ignored, but blatantly obvious, common theme that ultimately defines all prophetic doomsday predictions: Utter failure.
How many centuries would you stand waiting for a bus to stop and pick you up, just because some misguided bronze-age idiots told you it was 'coming soon'? Substitute saviour for bus and accept the apocalyptifail for what it is.
Ruler of Lake Titicaca. Rumored to have a bunghole that gets very angry if it does not receive toilet paper. Cornholio the Great is often seen walking around with his shirt over his head and his hands in the air, chanting songs about his power, and his bunghole.
"I am Cornholio! You do not want to face the wrath of my bunghole, for I need TP!"
Butthead: Shut up, Beavis! (uh huh huh huh)
Beavis: Um, okay. (heh heh heh heh).