alphabetical umpire

bumpire: Someone who monitors da activities of moochers and vagrants, uneven surfaces, or people's posteriors
cumpire: Someone who monitors a virile stud's sperm-production
dumpire: Someone who monitors da bulk-offloading of material
dumbpire: Someone who monitors stupid people and/or actions
fumpire: Someone who monitors what da castle-atop-da-beanstalk-dwelling giant said regarding British hemoglobin

gumpire: Someone who monitors Violet Beauregarde's favorite dental-exercising substance
humpire: Someone who monitors others' tune-carrying abilities, or da droning din of power-transformers and/or minuscule rapidly-flapping birds
jumpire: Someone who monitors others' pogo-stick-type leg-actions
lumpire: Someone who monitors Abner Peabody's best buddy, or abnormal bulges
mumpire: Someone who monitors child-bearing females, others' abilities to invoke da Fifth Amendment, or painful jaw-swelling

Other examples of alphabetical umpires include:
numbpire: Someone who monitors da effectiveness of an anesthetic
pumpire: Someone who monitors fluid-locomotion devices
rumpire: Someone who monitors strong drink or da jiggling of other people's behinds
sumpire: Someone who monitors addition-example solutions or overflow-containment devices
tumpire: Someone who monitors da health of others' stomachs

alphabetical umpire by QuacksO April 15, 2021

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Hair spider

A tight, tangled knot of loose hair and lint that forms inside clothing during the clothes dryer cycle. It typically hides inside garments, causing an annoying lump or a phantom tickling sensation against the skin until it is found or falls out onto the floor during folding.

I was folding my clothes and a huge hair spider fell out onto my hand

Hair spider by Kmorsels July 15, 2026

Word of the Day on July 16, 2026

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bullshot

n. A screenshot fabricated by a company to misrepresent the graphics of a game; a combination of the words bullshit and screenshot.

Originated from Penny Arcade, a popular gaming webcomic.

-Have you seen Madden 2006 for the Xbox 360? The graphics are gonna be awesome!
-Dude, the Madden 2006 images they showed at E3 were bullshots. It doesn't look nearly as good as they said.

bullshot by Worker Unit #503,298,545 September 26, 2005

Word of the Day on July 15, 2026

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Gayborhood

N. A neighborhood containing homes, clubs, bars, restaurants, and other places of business and entertainment that cater to homosexuals.

"They've opened up a new club in the Gayborhood called the Male Box."

Gayborhood by Mia Shields January 6, 2006

Word of the Day on July 14, 2026

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kenlet

A small piece of information. Derived from the word ken, used often in the scottish language and is synonymous with knowledge.

Person 1: "Hey I don't get this shit. How do you solve this problem?"
Person 2: "I got that one. Give me some kenlets on this assignment and I'll help you w/ that one."

kenlet by Norma Y. October 8, 2005

Word of the Day on July 13, 2026

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I mean I guess bro

a word of expression to when you give up on comprehending someone's words of ignorance, stupidity, absurdity or are too exhausted to formulate a proper response.

Commonly seen in TikTok comment sections in replies to lazy attempts at humor, overconfidentally incorrect statement, or an over-the-top comment or when someone completely misses the mark on something.

"actually... incorrect statement, hope this helps!"
"I mean I guess bro"

I mean I guess bro by clydedrewblood June 24, 2026

Word of the Day on July 12, 2026

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abandonware

n. software that is no longer sold or supported by the original publisher / developer, often found as free downloads on the internet because it cannot be obtained elsewhere. Not legal, but often seen as morally acceptable because the company that made it is no longer selling the title, nor releasing it as freeware, therefore abandonware is "keeping the game alive", so to speak.

Doom II is not abandonware because id still sells it, while The Incredible Machine is not sold, therefore is abandonware.

abandonware by Spoom October 24, 2003

Word of the Day on July 11, 2026

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