It means when you think you are because of the other things and that’s a result of the consequences from the actions of when you decide you want to do that because of the outside factors of the unknown
A phrase used to announce the person talking is about to go way beyond oversharing, normally used to a sign to the person listening to tell the talker to shut up!
(other days are also valid, but Tuesday is the most likely to be used)
"I can't believe we're going to see my sister that lives in another town ... she got married two years ago and now she's having a baby .... I'm really looking forward to see my nephew ... I was Born on a Tuesday ....:
"dude, buddy! why you're talking to me like I had a stroke?"
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.