Zombicide is the art of... well, not killing, but destroying zombies.
Zombicide is an important life skill, because zombie infestations have become increasingly common in the last few decades, and all indications are that the zombie holocaust is coming soon, possibly within your lifetime. Since the disbanding of the Knights Templar, there is no dedicated zombicidal society to protect us, and an outbreak on the scale of the Carpathian outbreak of 1143 or the Abyssinian outbreak of 492 BC would become global.
In order to be prepared, we should all learn at least basic outdoor survival, sailing (since zombies can't swim or operate a boat) and horse riding skills (horses will be the only viable means of transport when civilisation collapses). Also, basic knowledge of zombie physiology is required, so one should learn about zombie strengths and weaknesses, unlife cycles, habitat and behaviour.
Essential supplies for successfully surviving the zombie apocalypse are: first aid kit, shotgun and at least 5000 rounds of ammo, a katana or machete, plenty of flammable liquids, body armour, especially a helmet to protect your braaaains, tinned, dried or other kinds of long-lasting high-protein food, and clean drinking water.
Commercial zombicide products are also available. The Zombivac vaccine contains enzymes and antibodies to protect against Solanum, Rage and 23 other common strains of the zombie virus. You should keep at least 5 years supply for your whole family in your first aid kit (NB: Zombivac only protects you from flesh bites. Having your braaaaains eaten will still result in infection.) Zom-b-Gone spray is effective in repelling zombies from your home, but will not stop them once they catch your scent. The Zombie Knife from Advanced Survival Tools is useful and portable, but not as good as destroying a zombie's braaaaaains as a katana or sledgehammer. Zombotox water purifying tablets will remove any infectious material from water supplies.
But the most important principle of zombicide is to always be prepared. They do exist, and one day they will come for you.
Zombicide is an important life skill, because zombie infestations have become increasingly common in the last few decades, and all indications are that the zombie holocaust is coming soon, possibly within your lifetime. Since the disbanding of the Knights Templar, there is no dedicated zombicidal society to protect us, and an outbreak on the scale of the Carpathian outbreak of 1143 or the Abyssinian outbreak of 492 BC would become global.
In order to be prepared, we should all learn at least basic outdoor survival, sailing (since zombies can't swim or operate a boat) and horse riding skills (horses will be the only viable means of transport when civilisation collapses). Also, basic knowledge of zombie physiology is required, so one should learn about zombie strengths and weaknesses, unlife cycles, habitat and behaviour.
Essential supplies for successfully surviving the zombie apocalypse are: first aid kit, shotgun and at least 5000 rounds of ammo, a katana or machete, plenty of flammable liquids, body armour, especially a helmet to protect your braaaains, tinned, dried or other kinds of long-lasting high-protein food, and clean drinking water.
Commercial zombicide products are also available. The Zombivac vaccine contains enzymes and antibodies to protect against Solanum, Rage and 23 other common strains of the zombie virus. You should keep at least 5 years supply for your whole family in your first aid kit (NB: Zombivac only protects you from flesh bites. Having your braaaaains eaten will still result in infection.) Zom-b-Gone spray is effective in repelling zombies from your home, but will not stop them once they catch your scent. The Zombie Knife from Advanced Survival Tools is useful and portable, but not as good as destroying a zombie's braaaaaains as a katana or sledgehammer. Zombotox water purifying tablets will remove any infectious material from water supplies.
But the most important principle of zombicide is to always be prepared. They do exist, and one day they will come for you.
by George McBob May 21, 2009
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ZomFic
• Zombic
• zoofic
• Zofica
• Zombical Relations
• zombicide
• Zombicious
• Zombicorns
• Zomfscfled
• ZOMGICFW
(adj.) Of or pertaining to or relating to reanimated homo-sapiens, i.e. zombies. Undead in nature and/or behavior.
by _amyhalf_ March 19, 2010
Get the zombic mug.A zombie apocalypse novella written by award winning author John Green, published under a creative commons license.
by Nerdfightaria October 29, 2011
Get the Zombicorns mug.An extension of zOMG to include I Can't Flippin' Wait, ZOMGICFW implies that the writer can hardly contain the excitement they feel about an impending event or product release.
This acronym can be used both to express true feelings of unabashed anticipation, or scathing satirical irony. The context in which it appears must be considered to determine its true intent.
This acronym can be used both to express true feelings of unabashed anticipation, or scathing satirical irony. The context in which it appears must be considered to determine its true intent.
ZOMGICFW, the mother flippin' rhymenocerous' new album drops on Friday, the guest rap from hiphopopotamus is teh shiz!!!1
by supertofu June 1, 2011
Get the ZOMGICFW mug.Dude 1: Hey man, those zombies are fuckin'.
Dude 2: Leave 'em alone. They're having zombical relations.
Undead Bill Clinton: I did not have zombical relations with that undead woman.
Dude 2: Leave 'em alone. They're having zombical relations.
Undead Bill Clinton: I did not have zombical relations with that undead woman.
by Richard Slick February 26, 2009
Get the Zombical Relations mug.It is a religion in which we believe in:
we have a zombie jesus named Marvin.
Our leader is Marvin, not god, leader.
you may know him as the zombie jesus. Marvins
date of birth is not known because honestly
no one knows a person is a jesus when they are
born. Marvin was a male who was a sexy mother
fucker, he lived his life to the fullest, when
in his 20's (during the 80's) he drank alcohol,
went to lots of shows,fucked as many women as
possible and did what ever the fuck he wanted.
which is why we do not tell you not to do
many things, there are only a few no nos.Marvin
died, and was reincarnated the following year on
the date of his death he killed many people
but was brutally murder with a shot gun.
There will be zombie apocalypse which we call
zomb-aclypse.when is unknown but what will
happen is all dead believers in zombic will
arise and eat till they explode,literally.
and all living believers in zombic will not
be harmedand when the die, many years later
there will be another zomb-aclypse which they
wil participate in.
When meeting another zombic feel more then welcome
to use our secret password. (om nom nom nom)
when engaging in conversation. not only is
it a funny word.but it also ressembles the
sound of zombies eating stupid people brains.
Please remeber that zombies only eat
stupid people brains only because all the
smart people learn to stay away from the zombies
and are most likely zombic, but all the idotic
people, yeah, the zombies have no mercy for
them.
when we die we will come back as zombies
duing the zomb-alypse.
believe in love making to the extreme.
us zombics, fuck as much as we can,
not only is it good exercise but it is just
a delightful activity, now we are not saying
whore yourself out but if you find yourself
a partner in which you are comfortable with
fuck when ever you want, where ever you want
please know your state laws on the subject.
Getting shitfaced in order to cause mayhem is
more then exceptable, we encourage it but
our religion is not a pushy one so if you
choose not to drink you don't have too and
will not be riducled.
Drugs, are a no no, they kill the brain cells
zombies eat.
Zombie take over will occur during the catholic
religions holiday passover what year is un-
known.
Zombies, do not carry virus's they simply kill
people for food the only way to become a zombie
is to firmly believe in our religion.and then
die.
under no circumstances, may you own a rifle or
any type of gun. If not needed for occupation.
Vampires absolutely do not exsist, they are
fake,however zombies, are indeed real. they
just enjoy lots of sleep. which may be why you
do not see them anymore. because they sleep
all at once for decades at a time.
If you do become a zombie during the Zomb-aclypse
please note, christians are our number one target
here, so that we can laugh when they realize
"oh shit, we were the wrong pushy retarted dumb
asses"
Please do not impersonate zombies in a bad
manner, this isn't polite at all, zombies have
never done anything to you and all though
they are they walking dead they do have feelings
too.
Morgan Freeman is the most powerfulman on this
earth whether or not he is Zombic, he has earned
the right to live happily, so if some expresses
a bad oppinion of him they will be beaten brutaly
by every able bodied zombic in the area.
if a zombic thinks other wise, they burn, yes
that is right, they spontaniously combust and
burn, this is a deadly sin and a personal
attack agianst Marvin who is indeed a HUGE fan
of morgan freeman.
Violence is almost always the answer,if you do
not like someone feel more then privleded to
punch them in the face, but shhhhh don't tell
the law what really happened, lie and say it
was self defense. and on that note if you are
suffering from any kind of abuse we suggest
hit them hard enough once, so they get the
hint and realize they will get they're ass
beat down if the mess wih you.
As for prophainity use it as much as you can
it makes words fun!
we do believe to each his own, so please do
not be racist, sexist, pregidous, but we also
do believe in fun, so you may JOKE as much as
you want, its just a joke, but if it isn't, that
just makes you a dick, and not the good kind
attach to males that you engage in sexual
behavior with, no the kind that everyone hates.
but not the kind the feminist hate.because thats
the kind you engage in sexual behaviors with.
only cool kids are zombic ;
we have a zombie jesus named Marvin.
Our leader is Marvin, not god, leader.
you may know him as the zombie jesus. Marvins
date of birth is not known because honestly
no one knows a person is a jesus when they are
born. Marvin was a male who was a sexy mother
fucker, he lived his life to the fullest, when
in his 20's (during the 80's) he drank alcohol,
went to lots of shows,fucked as many women as
possible and did what ever the fuck he wanted.
which is why we do not tell you not to do
many things, there are only a few no nos.Marvin
died, and was reincarnated the following year on
the date of his death he killed many people
but was brutally murder with a shot gun.
There will be zombie apocalypse which we call
zomb-aclypse.when is unknown but what will
happen is all dead believers in zombic will
arise and eat till they explode,literally.
and all living believers in zombic will not
be harmedand when the die, many years later
there will be another zomb-aclypse which they
wil participate in.
When meeting another zombic feel more then welcome
to use our secret password. (om nom nom nom)
when engaging in conversation. not only is
it a funny word.but it also ressembles the
sound of zombies eating stupid people brains.
Please remeber that zombies only eat
stupid people brains only because all the
smart people learn to stay away from the zombies
and are most likely zombic, but all the idotic
people, yeah, the zombies have no mercy for
them.
when we die we will come back as zombies
duing the zomb-alypse.
believe in love making to the extreme.
us zombics, fuck as much as we can,
not only is it good exercise but it is just
a delightful activity, now we are not saying
whore yourself out but if you find yourself
a partner in which you are comfortable with
fuck when ever you want, where ever you want
please know your state laws on the subject.
Getting shitfaced in order to cause mayhem is
more then exceptable, we encourage it but
our religion is not a pushy one so if you
choose not to drink you don't have too and
will not be riducled.
Drugs, are a no no, they kill the brain cells
zombies eat.
Zombie take over will occur during the catholic
religions holiday passover what year is un-
known.
Zombies, do not carry virus's they simply kill
people for food the only way to become a zombie
is to firmly believe in our religion.and then
die.
under no circumstances, may you own a rifle or
any type of gun. If not needed for occupation.
Vampires absolutely do not exsist, they are
fake,however zombies, are indeed real. they
just enjoy lots of sleep. which may be why you
do not see them anymore. because they sleep
all at once for decades at a time.
If you do become a zombie during the Zomb-aclypse
please note, christians are our number one target
here, so that we can laugh when they realize
"oh shit, we were the wrong pushy retarted dumb
asses"
Please do not impersonate zombies in a bad
manner, this isn't polite at all, zombies have
never done anything to you and all though
they are they walking dead they do have feelings
too.
Morgan Freeman is the most powerfulman on this
earth whether or not he is Zombic, he has earned
the right to live happily, so if some expresses
a bad oppinion of him they will be beaten brutaly
by every able bodied zombic in the area.
if a zombic thinks other wise, they burn, yes
that is right, they spontaniously combust and
burn, this is a deadly sin and a personal
attack agianst Marvin who is indeed a HUGE fan
of morgan freeman.
Violence is almost always the answer,if you do
not like someone feel more then privleded to
punch them in the face, but shhhhh don't tell
the law what really happened, lie and say it
was self defense. and on that note if you are
suffering from any kind of abuse we suggest
hit them hard enough once, so they get the
hint and realize they will get they're ass
beat down if the mess wih you.
As for prophainity use it as much as you can
it makes words fun!
we do believe to each his own, so please do
not be racist, sexist, pregidous, but we also
do believe in fun, so you may JOKE as much as
you want, its just a joke, but if it isn't, that
just makes you a dick, and not the good kind
attach to males that you engage in sexual
behavior with, no the kind that everyone hates.
but not the kind the feminist hate.because thats
the kind you engage in sexual behaviors with.
only cool kids are zombic ;
by Crazy lauren, chacha April 21, 2009
Get the Zombic mug.