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you can't handle me

when you're unable to manipulate something put into your possessions or unable to control someone or something into a stable range of management.

other interpretations:
you can't handle this
you can't handle it
boy: can i talk to you for a second?
girl: no.
boy: can i just...
girl: no.
boy: well, just...
girl: no.
boy: you can't handle me, anyway.

If you can’t handle me at my fruitcake, you don’t deserve me at my tiramisu

A play on “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best”, with a little more specificity. Fruitcake is heavy and dense (stupid). Tiramisu is decadent, but light and perky (has it all).
He said I was being dramatic and irrational, so I told him, ‘if you can’t handle me at my fruitcake, you don’t deserve me at my tiramisu!’