A person who has devoted their life to the study of fat, emo, females on the internet. A whaleologist is obsessed with stalking girls on websites such as Facebook or MyYearbook. Once the whaleologist has found its species of interest, he will go after the species with all of his might. He will send thousands of texts, walk across state lines, and take five trains just to study the amount of fat on said specimens stomach and the amount of cuts on her wrist.
-"Hey! I heared you were a whaleologist?"
-"Yeah, I'm one of the best"
-"What type of whale are you studying now?"
-"I don't know I have to log on to my computer and check my inbox after sexting 500 girls"
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.