Unclelinkster

He's that weird guy at the party. That weird Uncle guy tryna smell everyone's feet. Doesn't matter the kind of feet. Big feet. Small feet. Wide feet. Narrow feet. Dirty feet with nasty fungus. You get it. Can't take him to meet your gram in a nursing home. If you take your eyes off him..even for a second. Boom. He's tryna shag your gram in front of all the old people. NEVER leave an Unclelinkster alone in a nursing home. He'll lick their tootsies like a goat till their skin peals. He'll shag your gram and papa then sniff their insides when he's done. He seriously has an addiction to oldies with big honking knockers and old saggy man balls. You might be asking yourself..what happens if I leave him alone in Walmart? Well I am glad you. He'll pants all the old folks remove his own pants then play Scatman as he runs around the store. When security tries to take him away he bends over and farts so loud their eyebrows and lashes get obliterated. You've seen the original Wizard of Oz right? Remember when Dorthy's house gets wooshed away? That's what happens to Walmart. The fart is so loud so powerful my buddy in the UK can feel it. Last time someone let this guy in Walmart my buddies house collapsed. Next time you see a guy with his pants down locking eyes with you as he takes a shit on the side of the street. Don't slow down. Why? He'll get on all fours and run full speed into your car barking like a dog with rabies if you do.

"DON'T EVER TRUST AN UNCLELINKSTER! Think of all the old people! Think of your precious car! Think of the gold fish! (don't ask what he did to my pet goldfish ="

by Creambardave August 17, 2025