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Trojan Fire and Ice

The Fire and Ice is best performed after a month of not shaving your pubic hair. It is performed during sexual intercourse when you fill you condom with crushed ice, put it on then light your's and her/his pubic hair on fire. But you must finish before all of the pubes burn off, or else your experience will not be as pleasurable.
Rick burnt his girlfriends house down during an utmost orgasmic Trojan fire and ice last week.
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Trojan's Fire and Ice Condoms 

(trodʒən|s fajər ænd ajs kɑndəmz )- n.

1. A product of the Trojan company. It is a condom created from a partnership between Church & Dwight Company, Incorporated and Sanofi S.A.to combine two of their greatest assets together, the Trojan Condom, and the IcyHot cream and patch, to, apperantly, relieve erectile pains while engaging in sexual intercourse. It has been so successful, it recieved the coveted two and a half stars on Amazon, and a host of bloggers who, between bragging about their sexual prowess, gave it such glowing reviews as "traumatising", "horrifying", "like lubing your dick with IcyHot" (not a completely inaccurate discription), "nightmarish", etc.

2. Buffoon, a Cretin, one who is considered to be unusally dull, lacking in brillance or intellect.

(etmy. 1. From the individual componets 2. Translated literally from the Irish 'Go mbeire an diabhal leis thú', proverbially meaning one who does stupid things repeatedly)
1. Oh God, my dick, it feels like...oh God, please stop the pain...I shall take a vow of chasity after this... God I shall never buy Trojan's Fire and Ice Condoms again!

2. He is such a Trojan's Fire and Ice Condom
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