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A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santranginus V, inhaling the beady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the Ravenouse Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you--daft as a brush, but very very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

Often associated with hitchhikers. See hoopy and frood.
Now there's a frood who knew where his towel was.
by uclafalcon March 20, 2003
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Sep 6 Word of the Day
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Damn that was a steezy ass kickflip son!
by niggaliciouszor April 29, 2007
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A random, obscure comeback when nothing else can be thought of. First used by South Park character Towely.
"Sir. We can't accept your application on account of...well...you're a towel."

"Uhh...uhm...you're a towel..."
by Malix711 July 10, 2008
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3
The most useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to- hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal ; you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with."
If you want to survive out here, you've got to know where your towel is.

guy running away He's got a TOWEL!
by Xildra November 06, 2009
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4
Contrary to the other dumbass definitions of towel, a towel is someone so fucking useless that they would be better off as a towel.
Person 1: Dan forgot to grab the tickets yesterday!
Person 2: what a god damn towel
by Towelhead696969 June 15, 2010
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5
A towel is a slag expression for a person that smokes a lot of weed and is pretty obvious about it (so people that secretly toke once in a while are not towels). Quite simply, a pothead.
Derived from South Park where one minor character who smokes a lot of weed is a sentient towel.

Sometimes towie is used instead.
McDonald's employee: "Man, we where just about to close down then a group of fucking towels came in and ordered 50 cheeseburgers..."

Man: "Dude, you're such a towel..."
Towel: "No, YOU'RE a towel..."
Man: "No, I am a respectable member of society with a steady job and a loving family. YOU'RE a towel."
Towel: "Oh..."
by Apfelstrudel October 16, 2006
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6
Something that you squirt your hot, sticky jizz in after you masturbate. Better than a tissue as its bigger and catches more of the sperm. Heating it up a little before hand creates an even better sensation for your penis.

Look up Fap Shorts for similar uses.
I was wanking off after a sweaty session at the gym looking at hot women. My sweat was a great lubricant for my dick and I jizzed all over. Lucky I had a warm towel at hand to squirt it on.
by Callum69 May 25, 2009
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