A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santranginus V, inhaling the beady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the Ravenouse Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you--daft as a brush, but very very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

Often associated with hitchhikers. See hoopy and frood.
Now there's a frood who knew where his towel was.
by uclafalcon March 20, 2003
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A random, obscure comeback when nothing else can be thought of. First used by South Park character Towely.
"Sir. We can't accept your application on account of...well...you're a towel."

"Uhh...uhm...you're a towel..."
by Malix711 July 10, 2008
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The most useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to- hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal ; you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with."
If you want to survive out here, you've got to know where your towel is.

guy running away He's got a TOWEL!
by Xildra November 06, 2009
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Contrary to the other dumbass definitions of towel, a towel is someone so fucking useless that they would be better off as a towel.
Person 1: Dan forgot to grab the tickets yesterday!
Person 2: what a god damn towel
by Towelhead696969 June 15, 2010
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Something that you squirt your hot, sticky jizz in after you masturbate. Better than a tissue as its bigger and catches more of the sperm. Heating it up a little before hand creates an even better sensation for your penis.

Look up Fap Shorts for similar uses.
I was wanking off after a sweaty session at the gym looking at hot women. My sweat was a great lubricant for my dick and I jizzed all over. Lucky I had a warm towel at hand to squirt it on.
by Callum69 May 25, 2009
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1. Someone who rubs you the wrong way
2. Someone you hate.
3. To be someone's bitch or pussy whipped
1. Dude, that TOWEL from last night is walkin' over here.
2. I don't even wanna see that TOWEL right now.
3. Stop being a TOWEL and sand up to her.
by Srivis Koonthanam June 29, 2009
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An individual (mainly male) that exemplifies all of the qualities of an annoying, suck-upping, over-the-top, loser and menace to society that can only be dealt with by repetitively calling that person a towel. Often associated with the name, Drew.
Towel.
by thatain'tright February 07, 2011
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