the carpenter

when you bang a girl using a 4x4 as a strap-on

the carpenter hurts like hell I have a splinter in my ass

by adrain barboza April 2, 2019

The Carpenter

the act of wrapping sandpaper around your Penis and having sex with a woman

after i used the carpenter she was smooth as a pebble

by 07 Sr. Mens Swim November 28, 2007

the carpenter

Add:

1 cup of queer
2 cups of metro (this includes shopping at american eagle, gap, etc.)
1 tbsp denial
1 large ass dildo
2 of the gayest friends ever

and you get a Ross

"Stop acting like 'The Carpenter' and just come out already."

by Mal Mal August 17, 2006

The Carpenter's Level

Sitting in a tub of water and farting while squeezing your legs together and trying to keep the fart bubble from coming out below your knees.By carefully raising or lowering your legs you can actually contain the bubble midway between the anus and the knees,thus attaining level.

Doing the carpenter's level in the tub is almost like playing one of those B-B in the maze games.

by wolfbait51 May 5, 2011

The Carpenter's Plunger

The Carpenter's Plunger is the ultimate rough sex toy.
Basically its a lightweight Balsa wood dildo wrapped in Commercial grade 60 sandpaper. The idea being to get rid of bumps and existing cum residue making insertion cleaner and easier.

Susie's cunt was cum clogged , but after a few applications with The Carpenter's Plunger, insertion was made easy.

by Bowds October 9, 2006

The Carpenter Effect

When a person or persons find themselves inexplicably drawn either a trilby, glasses a scarf or all of the above. This person will then want to molest everything that moves. A known symptom of the Carpenter effect also includes blaring classical music from hidden speakers around your body, some may also find themselves compelled to provide a 'tuneful' accompaniment. They will look a bit silly.

"Did you see Taylor Momsen the other day?"
"Yeah she was suffering from 'The Carpenter Effect'!"

by DuckmanThesecond August 18, 2013

Played the Carpenter

Getting nailed biblical style.

We were totally doing missionary and he totally played the carpenter.

by FKTR September 25, 2010