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Stabbing the carp

Everyone could tell when they walked in the room Summer had been stabbing the carp...fish was in the air.

curtains match the carpet 

when a chicks hair (on her head) is the same color as her hair on her pussy.
Damn! That is one hot redhead! I wonder if the curtains match the carpet.

Have the carpenters in 

To have an erection in ones trousers.

The male equivalent of having the painters in.
Dude, I can't stand up, a hot girl just walked past and now I have the carpenters in.
Have the carpenters in by c10v3r August 22, 2011

under the carpet 

When someone is very obviously and flamboyantly gay, but they completely deny any homosexual tendencies. Just like if a person were to hide under a carpet, it's very obvious that they are hiding and are doing a completely insufficient job. They are fooling no one.
Gay: "So, I heard you are gay..."
Under the Carpet: "Nooo! Why would you think that. I like

womennnn."
Gay: "Bi?"
Under the Carpet: "whaAttt?"
Gay: "Don't lie to me. I've heard stories."
Under the Carpet: "Whaaat?! Noooo. Nu-uhhh."
Gay: "Oh come onnnnn, you are so gay!"
Under the Carpet: "y....N....no..."

Mop the Carpet 

The sexual act of ejaculating onto a females pubic hair, then proceeding to spread it around with your penis.
Andrea let Grant mop the carpet for her last night.
Mop the Carpet by magicmike11 February 25, 2014

Does the carpet match the drapes? 

A question used to indicate the belief that a woman's hair is dyed. "Carpet" being the pubic hair and "drapes" being the hair on her head.
"Check out that hot blonde over there. Do you think the carpet matches the drapes?"