The hat fic

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An extremely disturbing fanfiction which involves YouTubers Danisnotonfire (Dan Howell) and AmazingPhil (Phil Lester).

In this fanfic, Phil buys a hamster, but then wakes up in a room, to a naked Dan. Dan proceeds to kill the hamster, making Phil drink it's blood along with Dan's own semen. The fan fiction goes on disturbingly, and unless you want to vomit all over yourself, I suggest you not read it.

Girl 1: omg have you read the hat fic?

Girl 2: omfg yes it is so disturbing I can't believe Dan Howell did that

The hat fic by ShadowSong April 7, 2015

The Hat Fic

The most unholy fic ever about Dan and Phil. the fic is about Dan and Phil buying a hamster then literally a day later Phil is all fucking tied up or something and Dan decides to literally drowns the hamster in his own cum until it dies and Phils all fucking traumatized then afterwards he FUCKING rips the hamsters head off and forces Phil to drink the mixture of the poor hamsters blood and Dans cum and just a lotta fucked up demon shit happens and at the end Dan literally fucking eats the hamster and they apparently do that every month 😍

Girl 1: Omg! I just read The Hat Fic? It is so fucked up!

Boy 2: Yeah I have, now I can never look at hamsters or hats the same again.

The Hat Fic by p0l4r1ze March 17, 2022

trucker's tan

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.

I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.

trucker's tan by population361 May 30, 2006

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kidulting

The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys

Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!

kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025

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Boffin

British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.

According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.

Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023

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Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.

I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.

Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026

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Dutty

Literally "dirty" pronounced with a West Indian accent. Can also have a positive connotation, for example Sean Paul's album title "Dutty Rock".

"The girl is pretty but she corrupt and dutty!"

or, in a positive usage:

"Booya! That freestyle was dutty!"

Dutty by J Hall April 3, 2003

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