friend 1: oh yeah well your mom is worse at call of duty then you are!
friend 2: stop with the blastoisements, thats not even funny.
friend 2: stop with the blastoisements, thats not even funny.
by jccp4jc74 September 14, 2009
when a female is gettin hydro pumped in the vagina by a males cock, the female orgasms and a huge blast of clear liquid is shot out of her moist opening at a high pressure.
Adam-"hey bro, get lucky the other night?"
Tom-"yeah man, pumped her so hard, she squirted soooo hard like a blastoise using its hydro pump!!!
Tom-"yeah man, pumped her so hard, she squirted soooo hard like a blastoise using its hydro pump!!!
by ash ketchum, pokemon master!!! March 5, 2010
After sex as you cum on your partners face you also shit on their chest while yelling “You don’t have enough Badges to train me!!”
Joel was blastoising her that hard she almost drowned and there was shit from her chin to her knees”
by Rocket82 April 7, 2019
A personality of someone during the act of sexual intercorse that likes to ejaculate all over the place during sex. A blastoise is also a water pokemon so water and semen are closley related. Therefore when Blastoise uses water cannon, the males dick uses semen cannon.
by obama's dick hole black & tiny November 30, 2010
When you are fucking someone and nut on their face, you pull out a 5 gallon bucket of water and dump it on them.
by MajinMikey March 6, 2016
(Binomial nomenclature: Blastiosus-poopus)When a person has an urgent need to excrete fecies causing the anus to expand 10 folds in a force greater than the heat of the sun...(most cases its fatal--mad blood loss)
Mary took a blastoise last night at 10 and at 2 the coroner proclaimed her dead by largus-anustus.
Jimmy , running in great panic as he held his posterior screaming BLASTOISE!!!!
Jimmy , running in great panic as he held his posterior screaming BLASTOISE!!!!
by Merch-the-miggity August 3, 2006
When an awkward turtle is insufficient for the awkwardity of the situation, one must "evolve" their awkward turtle into the Awkward Blastoise. This hand configuration uses the pointer and pinky finger of the top hand as Hydro Pumps to douse the situation.
While visiting his girlfriend's parents, Rob farted at the dinner table very loudly. The mom implemented the awkward turtle, but was immediately over-ruled by the dad's more appropriate use of the Awkward Blastoise in order to sufficiently encompass the awkwardity of the situation.
by Cypress A 106 April 24, 2009