Tea and Crumpets 

British codeword meaning Beer and Hos. Sometimes used when one wants to ditch an undesirable third member of their party by making their night sound boring. Other times used to signal its time to leave, or it is often used to fool the commoner.

Bloke, you ready to get some tea and crumpets tonight?(high fives)

Chap 1: So what are you fellows doing tonight?
Chaps 2 and 3: Oh, nothing, thought we might go and get some tea and crumpets.
Chap 1: Oh, well i better be off
Chaps 2 and 3:.....Score!

Mother: where do you think your going laddy?
Son: Oh nowhere mummy, just thought i'd go get some tea and crumpets?
Mother: Ok, well have fun deary!

Tea and Crumpets by TastyShakes December 2, 2010

tea and crumpets 

the only things they eat and drink in europe

european restaurant menu:
1. tea and crumpets - 5 euros
2. crumpets and tea - 5 pounds

tea and crumpets by pseudonymphet November 1, 2019

tea and crumpets 

The act of a male individual throwing a reverse cowgirl or squatting over a woman or man, and dipping his nutsack and cock (aka man junk) into their mouth and making sure his asshole is grinding on their nose.

Usually reserved for an especially vicious slam, use of this phrase can be for the fun of it.

“You just served up some tea and crumpets”
“Would you like some tea and crumpets?”

tea and crumpets by bike dick March 6, 2009

Tea and crumpets 

Code word for having sex while you are on the phone and your mom is in the room.

Larry and I had tea and crumpets last night in an ally way

Tea and crumpets by Jessica S. March 27, 2003

Tea and Crumpets 

1. A phrase often used by homosexual British to refer to leisure activity.

2. A phrase used by homosexual British to refer to anal sex.

Me and Cumberbatch are going for tea and crumpets.

Tea and Crumpets by Literate 'merican Stoner July 7, 2016

Crumpets and Tea

to shit and then piss on the shit after laying it down on a females breast region

i just served that funky ho some crumpets and tea, bitch.

Crumpets and Tea by Daveeeeed November 4, 2008

Crumpets and Tea

to shit and then piss on the shit after laying it down on a females preast region

i just served that funky ho some crumpets and tea, bitch.

Crumpets and Tea by Daveeeeed June 30, 2008