British codeword meaning Beer and Hos. Sometimes used when one wants to ditch an undesirable third member of their party by making their night sound boring. Other times used to signal its time to leave, or it is often used to fool the commoner.
Bloke, you ready to get some tea and crumpets tonight?(high fives)

Chap 1: So what are you fellows doing tonight?
Chaps 2 and 3: Oh, nothing, thought we might go and get some tea and crumpets.
Chap 1: Oh, well i better be off
Chaps 2 and 3:.....Score!

Mother: where do you think your going laddy?
Son: Oh nowhere mummy, just thought i'd go get some tea and crumpets?
Mother: Ok, well have fun deary!
by TastyShakes December 1, 2010
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1. A phrase often used by homosexual British to refer to leisure activity.

2. A phrase used by homosexual British to refer to anal sex.
by Literate 'merican Stoner March 27, 2016
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the only things they eat and drink in europe
european restaurant menu:
1. tea and crumpets - 5 euros
2. crumpets and tea - 5 pounds
by pseudonymphet November 1, 2019
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The act of a male individual throwing a reverse cowgirl or squatting over a woman or man, and dipping his nutsack and cock (aka man junk) into their mouth and making sure his asshole is grinding on their nose.
Usually reserved for an especially vicious slam, use of this phrase can be for the fun of it.

“You just served up some tea and crumpets”
“Would you like some tea and crumpets?”
by bike dick October 28, 2008
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Code word for having sex while you are on the phone and your mom is in the room.
Larry and I had tea and crumpets last night in an ally way
by Jessica S. March 28, 2003
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Party consisting of a cheater, cheatee, and SO during BUTTB sharing idle chit chat in attempts to keep the SO of the cheater from realizing the debt of the relationship between the other two where the cheatee wears bells on her nipples to keep the atmosphere lively.
Kevin had Tea-n-Crumpets with bells on yesterday as the whole room watched to make sure they wouldn't miss any excitement between the broods. The entire event was a let down.
by Shyantha February 2, 2007
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