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Butt-Stabbing Bandit
The name is quite self-explanatory, but don't let that make you thing you know everything you need to about the Butt-Stabbing Bandit. He is a ferocious monster that crawled out of hell itself, hungering for one thing; butt-related injuries.
If you are a guy, imagine having dozens of miniature testicles up your bum. Now picture them all bursting with the brutal stab of a 220 lbs. man and his full force punch of a 5 inch rusty carbon steel tactical knife. If you are a woman, well, I don't know how to relate it to you. So just imagine something really bad up your butt. Like childbirth! That's it, imagine you are giving birth in your ass. But...it reverses, I guess. Whatever.
This is the dark reality of few Americans. This occurrence is rare, and only seldom caught on tape. The side effects of an attack by the Butt-Stabbing Bandit include:
-Bleeding (duh)
-Crying
-Feeling of extreme pain
-Loss of bowel control (eww)
-Nightmares
-Depressing
-Rage
-More crying
-Anxiety
Note: One of the main results of an assault by the Butt-Stabbing Bandit results in the possible change in sexuality. The first stab changes you to the sexuality opposite from your original one. The second changes you back. And so on and so forth, leaving you at the mercy of if he stabs you an odd or even number of times.
If you are a guy, imagine having dozens of miniature testicles up your bum. Now picture them all bursting with the brutal stab of a 220 lbs. man and his full force punch of a 5 inch rusty carbon steel tactical knife. If you are a woman, well, I don't know how to relate it to you. So just imagine something really bad up your butt. Like childbirth! That's it, imagine you are giving birth in your ass. But...it reverses, I guess. Whatever.
This is the dark reality of few Americans. This occurrence is rare, and only seldom caught on tape. The side effects of an attack by the Butt-Stabbing Bandit include:
-Bleeding (duh)
-Crying
-Feeling of extreme pain
-Loss of bowel control (eww)
-Nightmares
-Depressing
-Rage
-More crying
-Anxiety
Note: One of the main results of an assault by the Butt-Stabbing Bandit results in the possible change in sexuality. The first stab changes you to the sexuality opposite from your original one. The second changes you back. And so on and so forth, leaving you at the mercy of if he stabs you an odd or even number of times.
Guy 1: Dude, what happened to you? We haven't seen you in weeks! I called your house, but all your roommate said was that you were in the hospital.
Guy 2: Nothing, man, nothing. *Starts to walk away, revealing the intensive bandage wrapping on his ass-region.
Guy 1: What's up with your ass, man?
Guy 2: I was.. I got attacked by the Butt-Stabbing Bandit, okay?!? Happy now?
Guy 1: Holy shit, dude... I had no idea. I'm sorry, like, I don't know what to say.
Guy 2: Just go, man. *Dark black and white flashback of attack* *Tear roles down cheek*
Guy 1: You okay?
Guy 2: Just go....
Guy 2: Nothing, man, nothing. *Starts to walk away, revealing the intensive bandage wrapping on his ass-region.
Guy 1: What's up with your ass, man?
Guy 2: I was.. I got attacked by the Butt-Stabbing Bandit, okay?!? Happy now?
Guy 1: Holy shit, dude... I had no idea. I'm sorry, like, I don't know what to say.
Guy 2: Just go, man. *Dark black and white flashback of attack* *Tear roles down cheek*
Guy 1: You okay?
Guy 2: Just go....
Butt-Stabbing Bandit by JasperRide March 29, 2015
Related Words
Suabbing • Stabbing Westward • stabbing • subbing • Shabbing • sabbing • scabbing • stabbing the cat • slabbing • stabbing donkey
Subbing
The act of addressing an issue indirectly that someone has created by saying it out loud and without referring directly to the individual.
Stabbing Yourself In The Face With All The Cracks Of Blood
“Yo, do you know what I’m thinking right now?”
“Stabbing Yourself In The Face With All The Cracks Of Blood??”
“Cmon”
“Stabbing Yourself In The Face With All The Cracks Of Blood??”
“Cmon”
Stabbing Yourself In The Face With All The Cracks Of Blood by LZ22 October 17, 2019
cabin stabbing
An episode of rough sex involving the use of the penis as a weapon to "stab" the female.
It elicits a reaction celled "agony" in Jamaican lingo, but is far from painful.
Similar to daggering, but without the intervention of clothes.
It elicits a reaction celled "agony" in Jamaican lingo, but is far from painful.
Similar to daggering, but without the intervention of clothes.
Happy Abbey slept snug as a bug in a rug after she had been hauled against a wall for some cabin stabbing.
"I'm tired of holding hands and watching movies", grumbled Anna. "When are you going to give me a proper cabin stabbing?".
"I'm tired of holding hands and watching movies", grumbled Anna. "When are you going to give me a proper cabin stabbing?".
cabin stabbing by BioHazardX May 18, 2014
Stabbing Guts
The odds of my coworker stabbing guts significantly increases after he leaves his tab open to the plethora of sluts he likes to surround himself with.
Stabbing Guts by Carly Wild May 11, 2010
clam stabbing
clam stabbing by Fav December 1, 2006
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