Stripper Retirement 

Stripper Retirement; When a stripper reaches retirement age which, depending on her condition, can be anywhere after age 28 she will go out and get herself knocked up by the best, well meaning, horny, yet stupid man she can find. He will most likely have a solid job history, good income, and decent credit rating, but he will still be homely and stupid. After she pumps out her kid(s), she will leave the entertainment industry to sit at home, devour endless snacks, and collect child support checks and/or leach of any man stupid enough to support her. All this while she mostly ignores her kid(s) except to feed them grape drink or rice & beans. She will occasionally pawn them off on relatives, or send them out to play in traffic. They will forever be in and out of juvenile detention. This former stripper is set for the 18 years that her kid(s) allow her to suck child support out of her baby’s daddy. Years full of all day naps and useless daytime TV. She will be oblivious to the fact that in all likelihood she has created what will become more worthless, irresponsible, slovenly people who will do more to drain the economy than to support it.

Eventually, Helens boobs just got way too saggy and wrinkled for her to collect enough money to live from the desperate vatos at the titty bar, she finally found fat rich real estate broker to knock her up twice, pump out the two units in a row, and let her go into stripper retirement for the next 19 years. Too bad those kids will be eating beans and rice forever and grow up with daytime TV as the only parent.

Stripper Retirement by Williamsven February 20, 2009