The most despicable species of woman known to humankind.
Soccer Mom is aged 30 to 50 years and can always be found in Havertown, PA. She lives in an
overrated neighborhood which in all honesty looks like lower-middle-class suburban Philadelphia on a good day.
She drives either a minivan or an
SUV, which she needs to cart around her 2.3 kids, who are as obnoxious as all get out. In addition to soccer, the little darlings also particiate in karate, ballet, basketball,
hockey, etc. They are never disciplined because soccer mom fervently believes they are perfect in all ways.
She's married to Mr. Corporate
America. He's usually burnt out because he's forced to work 60+ hours every week in order to pay the sky-high mortgage, two
car payments, private
school tuitions, fees for the kids' activities, and the bills for Soccer Mom's profligate spending. He therefore needs to blow off steam by either screwing random secretary sluts or by spending his lunch hours at the
local titty
bar. Soccer mom either doesn't know this or doesn't want to.
Soccer Mom has no life outside her
children and their activities. During the day when the kids are in
school, she can be found trolling the
local shopping mall and maxing out hubby's credit card buying stuff she doesn't need at the Bombay Company. She also is forced into the mall during the day as a way of killing
time until the Merry Maids are finished cleaning the house.
Soccer Mom's musical preferences are Celine Dion and Faith Hill. She can't blast a Celine Dion CD in someone's presence without launching into her nauseating story of how she and hubby danced their wedding dance to "My
Heart Will Go On," and how perfectly the song epitomizes her feelings for him. Sigh.
Soccer Mom sees any woman who's reasonably attractive and within 10
lbs. of her ideal body weight as a threat and a slut with the potential to seduce hubby. As if any woman would want his flabby ass!
Soccer Mom also has a rabid tendency to keep up with the Joneses.
All things considered, someone to avoid.
