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Shirk and Jerk

To avoid doing work while on the clock whilst taking care of one's needs. Less euphemistically: to jack off at work.
I was feeling really stressed at work today, so I locked my office and closed the blinds for a good ol' shirk and jerk to relieve my tension before the board meeting. Totally killed the presentation!
by daphunkeefeel1 July 8, 2012
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smirk-and-jerk

(v.) to roll one's eyes whilst concurrently simulating (male) masturbation , used whenever one encounters absolute douche-baggery or ridiculous-ness.
"I was TOTALLY pulling a smirk-and-jerk as my ex was telling me over the phone how he didn't miss me at all when my phone's missed call log proved otherwise."
by belleofthebaltimore September 28, 2006
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