Find yourself questioning religion? Not sure which path to take? Scared to death by Tom Cruise?
Then SHIANTOLOGY
may be for you.
A new religion founded on Sunday, February 8, 2009 and characterized by a belief in the power of Shia’s spirit to
clear itself of past painful experiences (in particular, hand smashing
car crashes and drunken outbursts in Walgreens) through self-knowledge, spiritual fulfillment and copious amounts of
Arizona Ice
Tea.
Shiantology places an emphasis upon Shia’s immortal spirit, Shiacarnation, an extrascientific method of pshiachotherapy (Shianetics), and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, daily SHIA WALKING POSTS.