Schrödinger's ugly Mom is when you insult someone's mother's appearance, while also stating that you had sex with their mother.
Guy: "Your mom said I was good enough for her last night."
Me: "Didn't you also say she was an ugly disease ridden hag?"
Guy: "Yes...?"
Me: "Schrödinger's ugly Mom bro."
Fogey/fogy /fougi/ sl. (early 18C+, orig. Scot) old-fashioned, stuck-in-the mud.
Person with old fashioned ideas which he is unwilling to change: Come to the disco and stop being such an old fogey!
You think me an old fogeyand an old tory, his thoughtful voice said. I saw three generations since O’Connel’s time. I remember the famine. Do you know that the orange lodges agitated for repeal of the union twenty years before O’Connel did or before the prelates of your communion denounced him as a demagogue? You fenians forget some things. (James Joyce, Ulysses. Penguin Books,1992. p. 38)