Skip to main content

Schrodinger's Blowjob 

Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmosome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?
Dude, would you risk taking off the blindfold in the Schrodinger's Blowjob?
Schrodinger's Blowjob mug front
Get the Schrodinger's Blowjob mug.
See more merch

Schrodinger's Blowjob 

When you're having sex with another man (it's not gay until you cum) and you stop and blindfold yourself, and then finish off by means of a blowjob, but you don't know whether it's a man or woman blowing you. Also applies to threesomes.
What about if you're blindfolded and you don't know if it's a man or a woman?

...Schrodinger's blowjob!!

Schrodinger's Blowjob 

The act of receiving a blowjob while at a sex party (sexoska) and almost falling asleep next to the love-making male-female couple who might happen to be your friends and are hidden under the blanket. It is usually linked with a dilemma of whether to look under the blanket or just let it be.
Hey pal, I was getting a Schrodinger's blowjob yesterday but really had no idea whether it was Andy or Mary schmosomimly sloppily blowing me.

Schrödinger's Blowjob 

A thought experiment involving a blindfold, a guy, and a girl. While blindfolded, you receive a blowjob from one of them, but you don’t know who. The act remains "not gay" until the blindfold is removed. As long as you don’t look, it’s assumed the girl is doing the job—thereby keeping things hetero by default.
Bro, I got a Schrödinger's Blowjob, I think the dude sucked my dick because he was wiping his lips afterwards.

Serial Monogamist 

Someone who jumps from one relationship immediately into another one.

Serial monogamists can not stand to be alone and often suffer from vast commitment and insecurity issues.

Because they jump into relationships immediately after the previous one has ended, serial monogamists typically don't take the time to reflect on their behavior or why their previous relationships failed; thus, they end up making the same relationship mistakes over and over again.
Person 1: Damn, Dustin already has a new girlfriend?! It's only been two weeks since he broke up with his fiance! I think he's a sociopath.

Person 2: No, he's a serial monogamist...
Word of the Day on June 22, 2026

liquid lunch 

A lunchbreak comprised entirely of alcoholic beverages, and no food.
"With all the lay-offs that morning, it was rough. I hit the bar around the corner for a liquid lunch mid-day."
liquid lunch by Alexandra July 27, 2004
Word of the Day on June 21, 2026
Dunzo, a slang word for done/finshed. Made famous by the Laguna Beach cast.
This car is so dunzo. (Kristin's car breaks down.)
dunzo by Joey Pellet December 8, 2004
Word of the Day on June 20, 2026