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Schaufler 

Popular German surnam that means cross-eyed farmer. Schauf- german for farming tool (Shovel). Immigrants from the 1830s to the midwest, mostly IL. Furthermore,Scholars have noted that the German's are responsible for a person's ability to become cross-eyed. There is even reason to believe that crop circles are the result of a farmer of German decent who wandered around in circles while tilling. Many girls of German decent are gorgeous, but they have this flaw.
Is that hot girl lookin at me, you, or that guy behind her? I dunno dude, she's a Schaufler and its creepin me out.
Schaufler by loopvinny84 February 9, 2009
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schaeffer’s new zealand deck sealant 

An ad done by a New Zealand guy who keeps talking about his deck but it sounds like he’s saying dick
“Hey, get that squirrel off my dick! He knows he’s not allowed to come on my dick!” Quote Schaeffer’s New Zealand Deck Sealant guy

Akiva Schaffer 

A member of The Lonely Island, a comedy troupe that currently works on Saturday Night Live, Akiva Schaffer writes Saturday Night Live's Digital Shorts along with Jorma Taccone. They usually have third Lonely Island member Andy Samberg as the star. Akiva Schaffer directed The Lonely Island's film: Hot Rod, and has driected a number of music videos for We Are Scientists and Eagles of Death Metal, and more, as well as SNL's digital shorts. Akiva seems to be the least known and recognized member of The Lonely Island, though he has many fans and admirers. He is also called Kiv.
Ryan:"Hey did you know Akiva Schaffer directed that one We Are Scientists music video?"

Steven: "You mean Kiv from The Lonely Island?"

Ryan:"Yeah!"

Steven:"Wow that's awesome!"

Chloe: "Kiv is so dreamy."

ashley schaeffer 

This term refers to a gratuitous back-handed pop in the testicles, as delivered by Ashley Schaeffer to Kenny Powers in the HBO series Eastbound and Down.

It is ordinarily considered bad form to give an ashley schaeffer under most circumstances, however, this rule tends to loosen when excessive amounts of alcohol are added to the equation. It is often hypothesized that male drinking buddies who regularly execute the ashley schaeffer may suffer from unrequited homosexual desires. Either that, or they just have a really sadistic sense of humor. Either way, the ashley schaeffer is rarely funny to the recipient.
The church pastor failed to see the humor in my quick and ruthless delivery of an ashley schaeffer to his holy ballsack. Maybe I should have waited until the sermon was over.

Gustav Schafer 

The drummer of Tokio Hotel. If he was not a drummer he would be a stripping fireman ; )
jenna: did you go to Georg's strip club last night?

Heidi: HELL YA! The dancing twins,,Bill and Tom were great!
But the best part was Gustav schafer in his sexy fireman outfit!!!

Jenna: Nice!
Gustav Schafer by Crazy-and-punk. December 25, 2008

Gustav Schäfer

He is the drummer of the greatest band ever: Tokio Hotel... He is cute and adorable! He is perfect!
Person 1: Do you know who is the drummer of Tokio Hotel?

Person 2: Yeah, is Gustav Schäfer... Is so cute! ;-)
Gustav Schäfer by KarmaGirlTH October 9, 2008