Reubix Lube 

As we know, Reubankle sufferers are extremely protective about their feet, often going to extremes in order to prevent people from setting their eyes on these elusive objects of rapine.

The Reubix Lube was developed as a method of appeasing the anguish of these people. It is a combonation of an extremely pungent and strong lubricant and a very tight casing about the foot, oft refered to as a shoe, closed and tightened by means of a combonation lock.

These combonation lock shoes are savagely difficult to remove and are thus often worn for long periods of time and in times when shoes would normally be an inconvenience. In the shower for example, or when having sexual intercourse.

The lubricant was developed for the sole purpose of getting the combonation lock shoes on and off. It is of great strength and has been known to have been of use in a number of other applications. Prising a beer from another's hand for example. It is also an immense health hazard, as swallowing even one drop can cause ones insides to become outsides.

"Hank stole my pie and refused to let go of it, so I prised it out of his hand with a drop of Reubix Lube. However, after eating my pie I had to knape for three weeks."

Reubix Lube by Charles Glass July 29, 2009