1. A unit of monetary exchange in common use among Performing Arts students. Equal to USD .21 or 21 US cents, the average cost of a block of Ramen
noodles, the dietary staple of these students. The cost of anything in Ramens (
R) divided
3 (or 2, as the case may be) is the number of days they would have to go without food to afford it. This is immensely helpful in making purchase decisions.
2. The essential ingredient in the Ramen Noodle Ceremony, a ritual practiced by some semi-successful performing artists when they start thinking they are The Shit and need to return to their
humble origins. The ceremony proceeds roughly like this:
1. Turn off all the heat in the apartment.
2. Three hours later add Ramen
noodles (must be Top Ramen Oriental flavor) to 2 cups of
water and seasoning packet. Boil over an electric cooking coil for three minutes. (This celebrates the discovery that adding ingredients sequentially is unnecessary and wastes electricity.)
3. While
noodles are cooking,
beat two eggs in a bowl. Try to remember when eggs were an unaffordable luxury. Think about eggs until their pathos becomes clear. Hear Satie's Gnossienne No. 1 in your mind and wish you understood why it always appears in the Ramen Noodle Ceremony.
4. Stir and remove
noodles from heat. Let stand for two minutes.
5. Warm hands over residual heat from cooking coil. Place warm hands over ears.
6. Add eggs to noodles. Stir well. Transfer to bowl.
7. Eat noodles slowly, trying to make them last as
long as possible. Drink broth in small sips.
8. Feel yourself transported to when you were your true self -- less than an
asswipe.
1. "Jay-
zoo, that used book on Labanotation costs
48 Ramen (48R). That's a month and a half without
food. But I gotta have it. I can live off my fat..."