Quantum Handjob Mechanics 

Also known as Quantum Handjob Theory, Quantum Handjob Mechanics is a branch of physics providing a mathematical description of the dual particle-like and wave-like behavior and interaction of the hand and penis.
Quantum Handjob Mechanics describes the time evolution of physical systems via a mathematical structure called the Cum Function. The Cum Function encapsulates the probability that an orgasm is to be reached in a given state at a given time.

Quantum Handjob Mechanics is closely intertwined with the Hymenberg Uncertainty Principle, which relates the fundamental principle that it is impossible to simultaneously measure the present proximity to an orgasm while "determining" the future momentum of a subsequent orgasm with an arbitrary degree of accuracy and certainty.

"Dude, I'm failing Naughty Physics."
"Why?"
"I just can't figure out these equations for Quantum Handjob Mechanics. I'm going to fail that test on three dimensional cum functions..."

Quantum Handjob Mechanics by Dzzo August 6, 2011