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Post-Coitus Mortis 

The phase after climax in intercourse where a person becomes completely incapacitated after coitus.
"Hey babe, can you go make some coffee?"
"Can't. I have Post-Coitus Mortis."
Post-Coitus Mortis by Coffeepot666 November 17, 2021

Post-Coitus Purple Porpoise 

The purple walrus that comes to congratulate you after successful coitus.
Guy1: Dude, I totally got to meet the Post-Coitus Purple Porpoise after my date with Sally this week end.
Guy2:Nice, dude, nice.

post-coitus-shavus 

A binding vow made between close mates, thou shall not shave until coitus-completus (the deed is done).

Usually conducted as a bet between mates on a dry spell. Can also be used as motivation for mates hung up on an ex to move on.
Someone - What’s with the dirty mo’s?

The boys (simultaneously)- “We are bound by the vow of Post-Coitus-Shavus”

Someone- Why doesn’t Johnny have one ?

Johnny- *smirks smuckishly*
post-coitus-shavus by tommystips December 17, 2019

post-coitis breakfast 

Are you enjoying our post-coitis breakfast? I hungry as shit for some reason.