Port

In rowing terms, port can refer to a rower whose oar is on the left side of the boat. Ports are generally less attractive and powerful than their counterparts, starboards, and do not contribute nearly as much to the speed of the boat as starboards do. This is most likely because starboards are genetically superior due to the fact that when a champion mates with another champ (ahhhh), a starboard is born.
Studies have shown that port rowers are 30% more likely than starboards to fail in areas outside of rowing and are also 13% less likely to find true happiness or fulfillment in life.

Starboard1: "Wow Kate is so hot and amazing at rowing, I can't believe that she's a port."
Starboard2: "Actually, that's because Kate is a starboard!"
Starboard1: "I should've known."
Port: "WoOOoOoOooo I can make bubbles in the water!"
Starboards: "Shut up port."

by TheRIGHTsiderowing October 21, 2010

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Port

Short for Newport, a menthol cigarette that is popular because it is known to boost your high when you smoke weed.

Stoner 1:"Hey, can I bum a cigarette?"
Stoner 2:"Yeah. Want a Port?"
Stoner 1:"Hell yeah!"

by Sam-I-Ami July 25, 2008

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Port

The left hand side of any naval vessel, so named because during old times, when docking, it was the side facing the docks themselves, sometomes called larboard.

Open the port jet control. Cut the hydraulics. (Kaylee is firefly - Pilot Episode)

by Lord Butterknife November 18, 2005

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Port

In the sport of crew (rowing) port is from the perspective of the rower on the right side of the racing shell (or left hand side from the perspective of the coxswain). Port oars are usally marked by a red marking somewhere on them. Port is usally stroke while starboard is bow.

Larry is stroke so he's a port but in the event the boat is starboard rigged his 7 seat Thomas will stroke.

by Rower111 May 25, 2009

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