In rowing terms, port can refer to a rower whose oar is on the left side of the boat. Ports are generally less attractive and powerful than their counterparts, starboards
, and do not contribute nearly as much to the speed of the boat as starboards
do. This is most likely because starboards
are genetically superior due to the fact that when a champion mates with another champ (ahhhh), a starboard
Studies have shown that port rowers are 30% more likely than starboards
to fail in areas outside of rowing and are also 13% less likely to find true happiness or fulfillment in life.
Starboard1: "Wow Kate is so hot and amazing at rowing, I can't believe that she's a port."
Starboard2: "Actually, that's because Kate is a starboard!"
Starboard1: "I should've known."
Port: "WoOOoOoOooo I can make bubbles in the water!"
Starboards: "Shut up port."