Porch Monkey

1. This refers to a person who dabbles in the Greco-Roman philosophy of stoicism but seems to, choose to lack the maturity or discipline to truly practice it in any serious sense.

Stoicism's origin stepms from the Greek phrase "Stoa Poikile" which translates to "painted porch." "Stoa" meaning porch. Thus they inhabit the porch but have all the seriousness and dedication a monkey would have toward serious philosophy.
2. Porch monkey is also a derogatory term to someone who practices stoic philosophy.
3. Porch monkey is also a highly derogatory term for black person and typically has no bearing on his philisophical outlooks.

Usage note: To avoid being seen as a racist, only use this term to refer to stoics who cannot be mistaken for people of color.
1. "Alexander says he is a stoic, but after seeing his temper tantrum the other day, I'm starting to think he's just a porch monkey."
2. "Lucius is lecturing us all again about how we shouldn't let our emotions control our character. He's such a porch monkey."
3. "Kwame thought Bob was lashing out at him for being a stoic when Bob called him a "porch monkey," but Bob was simply an obnoxious racist. Kwame practiced stoicism however and laughed it off, just making non-stoic Bob angrier.
by revoLucian1776 February 15, 2023
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Porch Monkey

A lazy person who sits on a porch all day and stares at their neighbors
Look at that fucking porch monkey neighbor of ours, all he does is look at us all day.
by MUKUM January 06, 2009
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Porch Monkey

A gangster wannabe that talks about being gangster when all he does is sit on steps and talk about being gangster to other wannabe gangsters
-Yo so this dude was disrespecting me, I would have stabbed him but i don't need heat from the 5-0
-Dude you've been sitting on the porch for the past week you porch monkey
by Dago Power September 09, 2010
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Porch Monkey

A lazy black man, who sits on his porch drinking and trading his food stamps for crack.
Damn porch monkeys, cant they just get a job!
by Luvs2Spooge January 12, 2008
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Porch Monkey

Look at that fucking porch monkey eating fried chicken, watermelon, and washing it down with a Lil Hug juice drink. Fucking niggers.
by Filthy Sally December 11, 2008
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Porch Monkey

Porch Monkey, noun

A black guy or nigger that lives in texas that sits on a chair outside or fence and complaining about the rednecks all day and usually sounding like a midget.
*porch monkey stares at redneck walking by*

Redneck walking by: errr why is this nigger staring at us

Porch monkey: hell I hate u rednecks and how u guys look ehh with your pickup trucks and playing wit guns and racist and shit *mumbles*

redneck walking by: ok...
by lolaturfacel33t November 02, 2009
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Porch Monkey

Porch Monkey- Anyone who is lazy and has others do their work while they sit on the porch watching like a damn monkey!
"Ya'll go on down to the field and work til dark, while I stay here on the porch and look stupid." Kindof like slavery, we did all the work to build this country while others just watched from the porch. "Porch Monkey"
by Tony G23 March 02, 2010
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