plonking

The process of providing oral sex on a man's penis whilst he is on the lavoratory excreting faeces.

Jane (or Fred) was plonking George last night

by pidgey November 27, 2004

{PLONK}

the sound shit makes when it breaks the surface of the water
and touches the bottom of the toilet, followed by an up splash of water/urine touching ones ass

guy: *shits*...*{PLONK} sound*
guy: urgh....*shudders as he feels the water touch his ass*

by {PLONK} December 10, 2006

Plonk

Staying in bed for an extended or exaggerated amount of time; sleeping, watching movies, or cuddling with a partner, or a group.

I feel so lazy, I plonked for 5 hours before deciding to do my laundry.

by Jack_Mier April 3, 2014

Plonk

When a person attempts to insert a flaccid penis during sex.

"That guy was terrible! He was too drunk and tried to plonk me"

by Butherface April 25, 2016

plonk

A bad photo with no redeeming features.

Can be used as a verb to mean taking a photo with zero effort or thought behind it.

"Wow, I can't believe that plonk got so many upvotes on r/analog."

"Yeah, they really plonked that one."

by skilletzzz November 20, 2018

plonk

an insult you say to someone when you're messing around. Less harsh than "you idiot" or "you fuckhead."

You plonk.

by bread infection November 25, 2009

plonk

British colloquial term for wine. Generally used to refer to cheap or lower quality wines.

What shall we order? Shall we just cheap-out and get the plonk?

by Kit N May 7, 2017