Phallus Hoarder 

About 5'9'', Weighing around 150-200 lbs, with a two syllable name like Danny or Randy. Long or short brown hair and a intense dislike for the complacent moralities that follow being a HUMAN! Total disregard for any life other than their own, and usually travel size and filled with shit to be excreted on command and on-the-go. No matter where you are, you will be able to spill some shit. The word "phallus" relates closely to the penis lodges deep in one of their very uncomfortable orifices. Not the anus, no, but either the eye socket, the ear, an surgically opened temple, or sometimes even within their own dick-hole. The containment caused by this phallic placement, or "cock-cork", creates great tension and benefits the growth of shit within the Phallus Hoarder's compartments. Getting into an argument with a Phallus Hoarder is not recommended, for doing so could result in suicide, homicide or mass murder from the irrelevant conclusion of anger and unwavering stubbornness.

Although it is not recommended to argue with a Phallus Hoarder, its easier to take solace in knowing that they are usually either wrong, or just trying to make you angry and mostly revolves around decisions regarding their very own phallus.

Example 1:

Girl: Man I love my shih-tzu

Danny: He's Ugly and I think we should eat it.

Girl: What?! NO! Why would you eat my Shih Tzu?

Danny: Survival of the fittest, they should bow to my superiority!

Guy: *sigh* Danny you're such a Phallus Hoarder.

Example 2:

Randy: My dick is bigger than yours by ALL NECESSARY AND UNNECESSARY MEANS.

Guy: I didn't ask...

Randy: I know you didn't, but if I dont tell you then I risk the loss of one of my cock-corks

Guy: oh! you should've told me that you became a Phallus Hoarder.

Phallus Hoarder by Amk October 4, 2010