Peeternity

When you are urinating and you start to think that it will never stop.

When I woke up this morning and used the restroom, it felt like I would be in there for peeternity.

Even though I was late for work, I was in the bathroom and it seemed like peeternity.

by tomjordan January 13, 2011

Paternity Fraud

A form of Perjury and Fraud that is sanctioned by the State of California. Men who do not find out that "their" children are not in fact theirs within the state's statute of limitations are forced to continue to pay child support. This can take place regardless of evidence provided by the men.

A guy signs a birth certificate because his girlfriend says he's the dad. 5 Years later he finds the children have been seeing their biological father the whole time while he has been paying child support. The state forces him to continue to pay child support regardless of the results of DNA tests.

He is a Paternity Fraud Victim.

by Dryhumor September 9, 2009

paternity test

Test taken to prove that a man is either the father or not the father of a child. ( see Maury show)

Stephanie tried to refuse to take the paternity test proving he wasn't the father because she didn't want the other guy to find out he wasn't the father either.

by LaDeena June 11, 2006

Paternity Pants

Apparently normal casual or dress pants for men with a stretch waistband to accommodate large bellies. Suitable for fathers who gain sympathy weight during wives' pregnancies.

Man, that was a massive Thanksgiving dinner. I'm glad I wore my paternity pants.

by digs0 January 15, 2013

Pawternity Leave

A company benefit that provides paid time-off for people who have recently adopted or rescued a new puppy or kitten.

Pete had to take a sick day to stay home with his new puppy because he didn’t want to leave him alone.

He wishes his company had paid pawternity leave!

by PoorDavid June 18, 2018

PATERNITY TEST

Something that should be state law in all 50 states.When you consider that fully one third of ALL live births involve a man
other than the man alleged to be the father on the birth certificate...It would appear to serve justice and streamline the legal system if the real father is known from the get-go.
Not so.The state-and the legal industrial complex are just interested in tagging any convenient sucker with the bill.DO NOT be pressured to sign the birth certificate.Even if you "KNOW" that baby is yours...get the little saliva based test kit and BE SURE.Unless of course you don't mind paying for someone else's kid.

HOMIE 1:"Yesterday my girl got pissed at me and said that little RAY RAY ain't mine.What if she's tellin' the truth?"

HOMIE 2:"How long y'all been together?"

HOMIE 1: "Coupla' years."

HOMIE 2:"Can't help 'ya.The law says that's your baby.
Shoulda' PATERNITY TESTED sometime within the first year.Sixteen years left.Have fun."

by L.MARTIN September 3, 2006

Paternity Test

1) - DNA test using several methods which can determine the biological parent(s) of a person. Most common methods are urine and/or blood samples, or swabbing the mouth and ears of a subject.

2) - The topic appearing on the Maury Show 3-4 days per week.

3) - What no man who had a one night stand wants to have to take.

1) - "This paternity test will determine if John is your long-lost father."

2) - See you are the father and you are not the father.

3) - Jamal- "Oh shit, I gots to take dis paternity test. I hope I ain' da father of Latrelle's nasty ass baby!"

by ACG2x October 13, 2004