THE IVY

One of a handful of LA restaurants where wannabe actors pretend
to be flush with cash...and proceed to max out their credit cards...in the futile hope that one of the true POWER DINERS will bother to give them the time of day.Sorry kid.He notices
you like he notices the waiter...only when he's annoying.
ACTRESS/MODEL/WAITRESS/YOGA CHIK:"Hey Tina...wanna go dutch on
lunch at THE IVY tommorrow?"

TINA:"Sure.We can go in my newly
leased Bmer.That way we can
valet."
by L.MARTIN September 27, 2005
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QUINCY JONES

The bandleader/musical director/artist/producer/publisher most responsible for some of the best music of the last fifty years.
WORKED WITH/CREATED:
>Sir Duke
>Sinatra
>The Brothers Johnson
>Michael
>George Benson
>Dr.Dre
>Chaka Kahn
>Oprah
>Rod Temperton
Did I forget anybody?...Probably.
A classic rare groove album by QUINCY JONES would be the BODY
HEAT LP from the mid 70's.
by L.MARTIN December 05, 2005
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S.A.D.

SEX AFFORDABILITY DYNAMIC....One more reason why it's better to be rich.As a straight man...once you get over the age of 25...if you're not rich or famous...generally speaking the quality of pussy you're able to fuck levels off.In fact it quite probably nosedives.The "young n'dumb n'drunk" MIGHT do you...But the "young n'sober/ambitious n'hot" will probably pass.This would explain why Average Joe in his mid-to late 20's claims to really dig older women.That's all that'll do your mediocre ass.
GYM MANAGER:"Unbelievable!This guy who just joined is uglier than the bottom of my shoe...but he walked in with this total babe."

FEEX GUY:"Must be the Bentley GT they pulled up in.Tsk
tsk...it's S.A.D."
by L.MARTIN November 05, 2005
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GUILTY

What you are presumed to be by the legal industrial complex,the press,and casual observers if you are man...and a woman or a child accuses you of wrong-doing.
1)In order to deny custody to a father-and generate income-a woman has as part of her state-sponsored arsenal the ability to:
A)Have consensual sex with you...then claim rape.(you're GUILTY)
B)File a restraining order against you for any reason
including you just going to pick up the last of your stuff.(DITTO)
C)Convince the kid to tell Johnny Law that you were abusive.(" ")
D)Take your money and not document it's proper use.
TESTOSTERONE:It's not just for men anymore.
by L.MARTIN July 05, 2006
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Mash

BASEBALL:TO BE A PROLIFIC HITTER OF TAPE MEASURE HOMERUNS.CANSECO...MC GWIRE...BONDS...SHEFFIELD
HOPEFULLY WE CAN GET GRIFFEY FOR THE STRETCH RUN.HE'S STARTIN' TO MASH JUST LIKE OLD TIMES.
by L.MARTIN August 19, 2005
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BIRTH CONTROL

1)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that mysteriously becomes
less reliable for a woman-the wealthier a man is.
2)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that has been available-in
at least nine different forms to women-for now about
50 YEARS.(There's only two for men:Condom.Vasectomy.)This means nine different forms BEFORE you even
touch abortion or sterilization...But "unplanned"/unwanted
kids still get here.
3)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology-available more to women
than men.Yet newsmedia continues to blame men for
irresponsible breeding.Interesting.I've never met a man
who decided when a baby would be born.
SPORTS ANCHOR:"On the day of the draft-the now rich,young QUARTERBACK
found himself served with PATERNITY SUIT papers."

CHICK TO DUDE:"It's okay.I'm on the BIRTH CONTROL pill.My
doctor says I can't get pregnant anyway.I
just want to FEEL you."

SAME CHICK TO GIRLFRIEND 90 DAYS LATER:"I don't know how it
happened.I was'nt planning on this...but I
don't believe in abortion.Sooo..."
by L.MARTIN September 03, 2006
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PAGE 10 MOMENT

A defining moment when you realize the gods are aligned against you in pursuit of a goal...That and the realization that your handlers/advisors are either stupid or covertly sabotaging you.In either case they should all be fired.
ANCHORMAN:"Subsequent candidates looking to challenge SENATOR CLINTON have all suffered a PAGE 10 MOMENT. Leaving her little choice but to polish her acceptance speech."
by L.MARTIN December 07, 2005
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