L.MARTIN's definitions

BIRTH CONTROL

1)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that mysteriously becomes
less reliable for a woman-the wealthier a man is.
2)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that has been available-in
at least nine different forms to women-for now about
50 YEARS.(There's only two for men:Condom.Vasectomy.)This means nine different forms BEFORE you even
touch abortion or sterilization...But "unplanned"/unwanted
kids still get here.
3)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology-available more to women
than men.Yet newsmedia continues to blame men for
irresponsible breeding.Interesting.I've never met a man
who decided when a baby would be born.

SPORTS ANCHOR:"On the day of the draft-the now rich,young QUARTERBACK
found himself served with PATERNITY SUIT papers."

CHICK TO DUDE:"It's okay.I'm on the BIRTH CONTROL pill.My
doctor says I can't get pregnant anyway.I
just want to FEEL you."

SAME CHICK TO GIRLFRIEND 90 DAYS LATER:"I don't know how it
happened.I was'nt planning on this...but I
don't believe in abortion.Sooo..."

by L.MARTIN September 3, 2006

S.A.D.

SEX AFFORDABILITY DYNAMIC....One more reason why it's better to be rich.As a straight man...once you get over the age of 25...if you're not rich or famous...generally speaking the quality of pussy you're able to fuck levels off.In fact it quite probably nosedives.The "young n'dumb n'drunk" MIGHT do you...But the "young n'sober/ambitious n'hot" will probably pass.This would explain why Average Joe in his mid-to late 20's claims to really dig older women.That's all that'll do your mediocre ass.

GYM MANAGER:"Unbelievable!This guy who just joined is uglier than the bottom of my shoe...but he walked in with this total babe."

FEEX GUY:"Must be the Bentley GT they pulled up in.Tsk
tsk...it's S.A.D."

by L.MARTIN November 5, 2005

FUCK YOU NUMBER

The financial number at which you can opt not to work.It's different for everyone...but generally speaking...if you buy into the "American Way of Life"...that number is somewhere around 5million liquid.At that point-you have a barrier against "the unforseen"(illness/injury)...or the fully known. (divorce/criminal children)Hefty appettite for booze,sex,and gambling?Triple that number.

Between his ex-wives,children,and jet set travel-James the attorney has a higher FUCK YOU NUMBER than Joe the plumbing contractor.

by L.MARTIN September 26, 2005

INTERNET DATING REALITY

While many beautiful women may post their profile and picture on an internet dating site...the only ones that you MR. AVERAGE JOE HETEROSEXUAL will hook up with are the 5's...and SINGLE MOTHERS.The 8,9,10 girl has her picture up for ego-grat
purposes.She's only available if you can somehow PROVE INCOME.
You know what I mean.

HONEST DRINKIN' BUDDY #1:"It's been awhile.I just had to clear the pipes.Hooked up with this cute single mom off MATCH.Not goin' back."

HONEST DRINKIN' BUDDY #2:"Yeah...I'm doin'okay now but awhile back I found myself in bed with this gnarly 5 off MYSPACE.I guess that's just INTERNET DATING REALITY."

by L.MARTIN January 15, 2006

BLACKER THAN THOU

A GAME PLAYED BY BLACK PEOPLE AGAINST OTHER BLACK PEOPLE IN A LAME ATTEMPT TO :
1)APPEAR TO BE MORE IN TUNE OR "DOWN" WITH WHAT BLACK PEOPLE ARE ABOUT.
2)PAINT THE PERSON THEY'RE HAVING AN AN EXCHANGE WITH AS "ACTING WHITE" OR "UNCLE TOM".
SUCH BEHAVIOR HAS HISTORICALLY DONE MORE HARM THAN GOOD.MANY KIDS WHO MIGHT OTHERWISE HAVE FULLY DEVELOPED THEIR ACADEMIC POTENTIAL HAVE BEEN SABOTAGED BY THIS MINDSET.SUCH MINDSET HAS ALSO CREATED A "STUCK ON STUPID" MENTALITY THAT DISCOURAGES INDEPENDENT THINKING OR DISCOVERY OF OTHER WORLDS OR WAYS OF BEING.ENOUGH PEOPLE...ENOUGH.

BROTHA 1: " CERTAIN ELEMENTS OF MODERN CONSERVATISM APPEAL
TO ME"
"BLACKER THAN THOU" BROTHA 2:"RIIGHT...'DATS 'CAUSE YOU WANNA
BE WHITE.'JUS GO ON 'HED 'N
ADMIT IT.ALWAYS KNEW 'DAT 'BOUT
YO' ASS."

by L.MARTIN September 21, 2005

BROWN TRUMPET

Extended loud farting.

After an eclectic mix of burritos and sushi-Bill treated the passengers in his car to a most pungent and audible concert
featuring his BROWN TRUMPET.The window locks were applied.

by L.MARTIN January 29, 2006

tho

Old school southern ebonics.
Describes motion made with sphereroidal object...i.e. a baseball or football.

"Daayum!Michael Vick tho' hawd.You not careful...homie rip 'dat hand right off."

by L.MARTIN September 14, 2005