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L.MARTIN's definitions

BLINGSHEVIK

Roman Abramovich finds that his 377ft. yacht Pelorus is a tad cozy.In true BLINGSHEVIK fashion he orders a roomier 500footer.
by L.MARTIN June 11, 2008
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ED HARDY

A tragically hip LA Based clothing brand.The brand started the new wave of urban hipster fashion along with CHROME HEARTS,AFFLICTION,JUICY...etc.Has come to signify an ability to overpay for loudly colored clothing.Has become a status signifier amongst BMER/BENZ driving club kids who still live at home.Cougar MILFS can be seen wearing it on bonding trips to the mall with their sociopath offspring. The preferred clothing of the DOUCHEBAG GENERATION.
NEWPORT BEACH/UCI HOTTIE:"My mom's in Aspen...but she just leased me this new C-CLASS-and left me the Amex for some shopping."

MUSCULAR TATTED OUT ACTOR WANNABE LOSER BOYFRIEND WITH HIDEOUSLY SPIKED HAIR:"Kewl! let's go down on Melrose.
I need a new ED HARDY tee."
by L.MARTIN December 29, 2007
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BIRTH CONTROL

1)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that mysteriously becomes
less reliable for a woman-the wealthier a man is.
2)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that has been available-in
at least nine different forms to women-for now about
50 YEARS.(There's only two for men:Condom.Vasectomy.)This means nine different forms BEFORE you even
touch abortion or sterilization...But "unplanned"/unwanted
kids still get here.
3)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology-available more to women
than men.Yet newsmedia continues to blame men for
irresponsible breeding.Interesting.I've never met a man
who decided when a baby would be born.
SPORTS ANCHOR:"On the day of the draft-the now rich,young QUARTERBACK
found himself served with PATERNITY SUIT papers."

CHICK TO DUDE:"It's okay.I'm on the BIRTH CONTROL pill.My
doctor says I can't get pregnant anyway.I
just want to FEEL you."

SAME CHICK TO GIRLFRIEND 90 DAYS LATER:"I don't know how it
happened.I was'nt planning on this...but I
don't believe in abortion.Sooo..."
by L.MARTIN September 3, 2006
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PRE-NUP

A useless legal document easily voided by even the most average of divorce attorneys.What she does'nt get in alimony
or property settlement...she will more than get in CHILD SUPPORT.Why do you think she had them?
DIVORCEE'- "What are we gonna do? I stupidly signed that damn
pre-nup eight years ago.'The fuck was I thinking?"

ATTORNEY- "We're good.Courts care about the welfare of the
child over anything.Did I mention they don't
make you document where...or how you spend child
support payments? Little Emily is worth about
20 grand a month based on his present income.
The judge is a woman.I'll probably get you 25."

DIVORCEE'-"I think I love you."

ATTORNEY-"After this is over we'll do a weekend down in
St.Bartts.Bring your pill."
by L.MARTIN September 3, 2006
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PATERNITY TEST

Something that should be state law in all 50 states.When you consider that fully one third of ALL live births involve a man
other than the man alleged to be the father on the birth certificate...It would appear to serve justice and streamline the legal system if the real father is known from the get-go.
Not so.The state-and the legal industrial complex are just interested in tagging any convenient sucker with the bill.DO NOT be pressured to sign the birth certificate.Even if you "KNOW" that baby is yours...get the little saliva based test kit and BE SURE.Unless of course you don't mind paying for someone else's kid.
HOMIE 1:"Yesterday my girl got pissed at me and said that little RAY RAY ain't mine.What if she's tellin' the truth?"

HOMIE 2:"How long y'all been together?"

HOMIE 1: "Coupla' years."

HOMIE 2:"Can't help 'ya.The law says that's your baby.
Shoulda' PATERNITY TESTED sometime within the first year.Sixteen years left.Have fun."
by L.MARTIN September 3, 2006
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CHROME HEARTS

An apparel and jewelry line that welds biker/film industry/trailer park culture into one expensive "FUCK YOU I'VE GOT MONEY" sign.Thousand dollar sunglasses...Eight grand leather jackets...Ten Grand and up shine...And of course the face-saving three hundred dollar trucker cap in case you just have to walk out of the store with something.
L.A. TOURIST:"I thought you were taking me to a hot club.This is a damn biker bar...And who are all these people wearing sunglasses at 1am?"

LOCAL:"Well the guy who just passed you was Tommy Lee.It's a CHROME HEARTS crowd.Leave the camera in your purse."
by L.MARTIN August 4, 2006
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GUILTY

What you are presumed to be by the legal industrial complex,the press,and casual observers if you are man...and a woman or a child accuses you of wrong-doing.
1)In order to deny custody to a father-and generate income-a woman has as part of her state-sponsored arsenal the ability to:
A)Have consensual sex with you...then claim rape.(you're GUILTY)
B)File a restraining order against you for any reason
including you just going to pick up the last of your stuff.(DITTO)
C)Convince the kid to tell Johnny Law that you were abusive.(" ")
D)Take your money and not document it's proper use.
TESTOSTERONE:It's not just for men anymore.
by L.MARTIN July 5, 2006
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