L.MARTIN's definitions
OIL TRADER:..."So we're walking through the park...and we drop a blanket on the grass at the amphitheater...and as I
poured wine for us,I had JEFFREY OSBOURNE come out on stage and sing LOVE BALLAD...at which point I presented her with a 4ct. rock.-and a proposal.Cool,yeah?"
ARMS DEALER:"That is so fucking DIAMOND COMMERCIAL.Don't repeat it to anyone else.Congratulations."
poured wine for us,I had JEFFREY OSBOURNE come out on stage and sing LOVE BALLAD...at which point I presented her with a 4ct. rock.-and a proposal.Cool,yeah?"
ARMS DEALER:"That is so fucking DIAMOND COMMERCIAL.Don't repeat it to anyone else.Congratulations."
by L.MARTIN December 5, 2005
Get the DIAMOND COMMERCIALmug. A useless legal document easily voided by even the most average of divorce attorneys.What she does'nt get in alimony
or property settlement...she will more than get in CHILD SUPPORT.Why do you think she had them?
or property settlement...she will more than get in CHILD SUPPORT.Why do you think she had them?
DIVORCEE'- "What are we gonna do? I stupidly signed that damn
pre-nup eight years ago.'The fuck was I thinking?"
ATTORNEY- "We're good.Courts care about the welfare of the
child over anything.Did I mention they don't
make you document where...or how you spend child
support payments? Little Emily is worth about
20 grand a month based on his present income.
The judge is a woman.I'll probably get you 25."
DIVORCEE'-"I think I love you."
ATTORNEY-"After this is over we'll do a weekend down in
St.Bartts.Bring your pill."
pre-nup eight years ago.'The fuck was I thinking?"
ATTORNEY- "We're good.Courts care about the welfare of the
child over anything.Did I mention they don't
make you document where...or how you spend child
support payments? Little Emily is worth about
20 grand a month based on his present income.
The judge is a woman.I'll probably get you 25."
DIVORCEE'-"I think I love you."
ATTORNEY-"After this is over we'll do a weekend down in
St.Bartts.Bring your pill."
by L.MARTIN September 3, 2006
Get the PRE-NUPmug. ONE PHONE CALL: If she/he can't decide to get together after one phone call...it was'nt meant to be.Either they're not into you or worse...they're indecisive.
TWO DATES:If he/she is'nt in the bed of your choosing after two dates-(They know if they want you)-end all contact.Either they're not into you,or worse...they're indecisive attention whores.
THREE FUCKS:Get past the first two? Got him/her in bed? Good.Make it enjoyable for all involved...but at about that third session...someone will want to be involved more deeply.Time to bounce.Who's on deck?
TWO DATES:If he/she is'nt in the bed of your choosing after two dates-(They know if they want you)-end all contact.Either they're not into you,or worse...they're indecisive attention whores.
THREE FUCKS:Get past the first two? Got him/her in bed? Good.Make it enjoyable for all involved...but at about that third session...someone will want to be involved more deeply.Time to bounce.Who's on deck?
DUDE 1:"Gina is hot...but whatever happened to Josie?"
DUDE 2:"She wanted commitment.I got a RULE OF 123 I tend to follow.Just was'nt in the cards."
DUDE 2:"She wanted commitment.I got a RULE OF 123 I tend to follow.Just was'nt in the cards."
by L.MARTIN October 3, 2005
Get the RULE OF 123mug. CARPENTER 1:"Say fella...would you step back n' take a look at
n'see how this door fits?"
CARPENTER 2:"Hmmm...'bout a coupla RED CUNT HAIRS off the
bottom oughta' do it.Break out the sander."
n'see how this door fits?"
CARPENTER 2:"Hmmm...'bout a coupla RED CUNT HAIRS off the
bottom oughta' do it.Break out the sander."
by L.MARTIN September 27, 2005
Get the RED CUNT HAIRmug. BIG MONEY...HAVING AN ARROGANTLY LARGE BANK ACCOUNT.THE KIND OF WEALTH YOU COME TO AT A REASONABLY YOUNG AGE THAT LEADS YOU TO DO THINGS THAT OTHERS GOT TO MUCH LATER IN LIFE I.E.LUXURY BOXES AT THE BALLPARK...HOMES IN ASPEN...MISTRESS ACCOUNTS.
1)"HE'S RAKIN' HEFTY STAMPS AFTER CATCHING THE ENTIRE RUN-UP IN CRUDE OIL."
2)"YEAH SHE FOYNE...BUT YOU KNOW SHE CHECKIN' THAT WALLET FO' STAMPS.HI MAINTENANCE HO'."
3)SURE HE TALKS A GREAT GAME...BUT DOES HE HAVE THE STAMPS TO WRITE A CHECK?
2)"YEAH SHE FOYNE...BUT YOU KNOW SHE CHECKIN' THAT WALLET FO' STAMPS.HI MAINTENANCE HO'."
3)SURE HE TALKS A GREAT GAME...BUT DOES HE HAVE THE STAMPS TO WRITE A CHECK?
by L.MARTIN September 15, 2005
Get the Stampsmug. 3B:(BLACK on BLACK BLINDNESS)
A CONDITION USUALLY SUFFERED BY LEFT LEANING BLACK INTELLIGENTSIA...CHARACTERIZED BY A COMPLETE BLIND EYE TURNED TO THE SOMETIMES GENOCIDAL ILL WILL OF BLACK PEOPLE TOWARD OTHER BLACK PEOPLE(RWANDA)...OR NON-WHITE DARK SKINNED PEOPLE TOWARD PEOPLE OF AFRICAN DESCENT.(SUDAN)IN THE MIND OF THIS PERSON THERE MUST ALWAYS BE A WHITE VILLAIN TO POINT A FINGER AT.PITY.
A CONDITION USUALLY SUFFERED BY LEFT LEANING BLACK INTELLIGENTSIA...CHARACTERIZED BY A COMPLETE BLIND EYE TURNED TO THE SOMETIMES GENOCIDAL ILL WILL OF BLACK PEOPLE TOWARD OTHER BLACK PEOPLE(RWANDA)...OR NON-WHITE DARK SKINNED PEOPLE TOWARD PEOPLE OF AFRICAN DESCENT.(SUDAN)IN THE MIND OF THIS PERSON THERE MUST ALWAYS BE A WHITE VILLAIN TO POINT A FINGER AT.PITY.
"MISS 3B LAW STUDENT OVER THERE KEEPS TRYING TO BLAME HAITIS' PROBLEMS ON U.S. MEDDLING.LAST MONTH SHE WAS BLAMING IT ON U.S. INDIFFERENCE".
by L.MARTIN September 16, 2005
Get the 3Bmug. Something that should be state law in all 50 states.When you consider that fully one third of ALL live births involve a man
other than the man alleged to be the father on the birth certificate...It would appear to serve justice and streamline the legal system if the real father is known from the get-go.
Not so.The state-and the legal industrial complex are just interested in tagging any convenient sucker with the bill.DO NOT be pressured to sign the birth certificate.Even if you "KNOW" that baby is yours...get the little saliva based test kit and BE SURE.Unless of course you don't mind paying for someone else's kid.
other than the man alleged to be the father on the birth certificate...It would appear to serve justice and streamline the legal system if the real father is known from the get-go.
Not so.The state-and the legal industrial complex are just interested in tagging any convenient sucker with the bill.DO NOT be pressured to sign the birth certificate.Even if you "KNOW" that baby is yours...get the little saliva based test kit and BE SURE.Unless of course you don't mind paying for someone else's kid.
HOMIE 1:"Yesterday my girl got pissed at me and said that little RAY RAY ain't mine.What if she's tellin' the truth?"
HOMIE 2:"How long y'all been together?"
HOMIE 1: "Coupla' years."
HOMIE 2:"Can't help 'ya.The law says that's your baby.
Shoulda' PATERNITY TESTED sometime within the first year.Sixteen years left.Have fun."
HOMIE 2:"How long y'all been together?"
HOMIE 1: "Coupla' years."
HOMIE 2:"Can't help 'ya.The law says that's your baby.
Shoulda' PATERNITY TESTED sometime within the first year.Sixteen years left.Have fun."
by L.MARTIN September 3, 2006
Get the PATERNITY TESTmug.