Overland Squat Blossom 

A traditional taking of a dump aka Squat Blossom. Except that one defecates outdoors and in public. To perform the Overland Squat Blossom, one drops their pants, places their back against a wall, tree or other structure and positions their legs and feet to appear be seated on a toilet. This pseudo seated position allows maximum push and the bowels are generally released with limited collateral shittage. The ensuing assplosion will vary depending upon the fecal viscosity. Wet shits are not recommended. While the goal is to lay the perfect clean pinch turd directly below on the ground, a wet shit or rooster tail will likely trail or tickle down along the wall down to the ground.

Leroy left work one afternoon. As he was heading to the parking area, he looked along the wall near the employee exit and noticed a large pile of wet feces. It was obvious that someone had performed and Overland Squat Blossom and left quite the mess on the sidewalk. But notably, Leroy was quite impressed by the fact that there was a line of turd running down the wall to the pile below. Clearly, the defecator had rooster tailed that turd and it was not a real clean pinch.

Overland Squat Blossom by Eaton Holgoode April 27, 2015