No Child Don't Tell 

A policy built on a foundation of lies and used by taxpayers to game the system while filling out their IRS income tax returns. The goal is to obtain a deduction (pay less money) by claiming at least 1 dependent who does not exist.

Note: This policy is often employed on accident by young/inexperienced taxpayers who don't know what the hell they're doing. In such cases, the process is often overseen by an employer who also doesn't know what the hell they're doing and therefore doesn't have the foresight or the balls to intercede in the employee's mistake which is happening right in front of their stupid fucking face!

Boss: "Here you are, Lad. Just fill this out and then you'll be my employee."

Applicant: (Oh, man! I don't know what to do here. I've never done this before.) "H...Hey, Boss. Wha...What should I put for the number of dependents?"

Boss: (God dammit, Tom! Leave the room! Remember, always leave the room immediately!) "Duhhh..bwa..bwa-bwa-bwaaaa...Duhh...I gotta get some coffee! Ya like beer I'll get you some beer!"

Applicant: "But, I don't know what..."

Boss: "No time, gotta go!"

<<Boss leaves room. With no one to help him fill out his tax form, the Applicant is about to unknowingly engage in his first use of No Child Don't Tell.>>

No Child Don't Tell by Lepidopteran July 6, 2010