Neusance
Neusance by Percy Dooo March 16, 2022
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newsance
The first person you hear from whenever an important news story breaks. Having idolized news anchors like Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper, the newsance relishes every opportunity to experience the awesome wave of self-congratulatory importance that derives from delivering a novel news story. The newsance recognizes this as a cause greater than oneself and, as such, will go to great lengths to inform every last one of his/her friends about a breaking news story--at any time of day and by any means necessary.
*Phone rings at 3 a.m.*
John: What in the hell... *yawn*... who's calling so late?!
Phyllis: John! My goodness, have you heard? HAVE YOU HEARD?! Oprah just announced she's quitting her show! 25 YEARS!
John: Uh... gah, is this Phyllis again? Do you really have to call so late?
Phyllis: It's Oprah! This is, like, a historic moment! I just couldn't bear the thought of you waking up to it in the morning, having to deal with it all alone.
John: Listen, Phyllis, I know I've always called you my friend, but no longer. *hangs up*
John's wife: Phyllis, right? Jeez, she's a real newsance.
John: What in the hell... *yawn*... who's calling so late?!
Phyllis: John! My goodness, have you heard? HAVE YOU HEARD?! Oprah just announced she's quitting her show! 25 YEARS!
John: Uh... gah, is this Phyllis again? Do you really have to call so late?
Phyllis: It's Oprah! This is, like, a historic moment! I just couldn't bear the thought of you waking up to it in the morning, having to deal with it all alone.
John: Listen, Phyllis, I know I've always called you my friend, but no longer. *hangs up*
John's wife: Phyllis, right? Jeez, she's a real newsance.
Related Words
Fox Newsance
The annoyance you feel when a valid organization like Planned Parenthood or ACORN or the NAACP ( all non- whites in general) is being harressed or misrepresented on Fox News. This feeling also arises whenever you hear the "Fair and Balanced" promo commerials on Fox News, because you know thats a right out lie.
Fox anchor ( blonde attractive pyscho): Planned Parenthood is forcing women to get abortions weather they want to have the baby or not, and black people are scary. This and more after these commerials.
Viewer: What bullshit, this is such a Fox Newsance.
Viewer: What bullshit, this is such a Fox Newsance.
Fox Newsance by FoggyBreath June 10, 2011
attractive nusance
attractive nusance by Willy Vanilly December 21, 2008
Utility beer
Utility beer is the beer you keep around for the day-to-day moments when beer is a necessity to assist in pedestrian activities (golf, plumbing, yardwork, babysitting, staff meetings, Zoom calls). For the beer snob it is the beer you save for neighbors when they drop in at 3 p.m. on a Tuesday. It is differentiated from the actual high-end beer you save for special events, holidays, and special tastings.
Person 1: Dave, did you bring along those hazy craft IPA's so we could drink while cleaning Lyle's pool?
Person 2: Nope. I just have a bunch of utility beer that Steve dumped on me. Good enough for this. It is only 10:30 a.m.
Person 2: Nope. I just have a bunch of utility beer that Steve dumped on me. Good enough for this. It is only 10:30 a.m.
Utility beer by lakeshore February 1, 2022
Word of the Day on August 10, 2026
Oinking
Police activity, especially of the non-productive type i.e. The act of setting up and patrolling speed traps, harassing or arresting people based on appearance (racial profiling), breaking up parties, any sort of cannabis bust, etc.
"Did you see all the cops on highway 6? They are oinking hard!"
"I hope Johnny doesn't get caught with his bag of weed, the pigs are oinking"
"I hope Johnny doesn't get caught with his bag of weed, the pigs are oinking"
Oinking by DontDrinkSoda June 29, 2013
Word of the Day on August 9, 2026